"Yes, okay," I told him, swiping at one tear that escaped. I told him everything, about how I was struggling in debt and Clayton came along with all that money. How I took it, not knowing anything about him but desperate for relief. Then I told him how Regan scolded me and I felt awful, and how from the very instant I met him, I knew he needed help, not more pain.
"Asher, you have to believe me, if I could've given his money back at any second just to spare you this pain, I'd have done it. I took the money, but the instant I met you, I knew it was a horrible choice."
His face contorted and he rubbed both hands over his eyes and then down over his mouth. "How could you do that to me?" he said, but it was a tone of utter brokenness. He felt betrayed and rejected, not angry. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
Tears flowed freely now and I shook as I continued. "He had this recording of me saying what I'd do. It didn’t matter that I hated myself for what was happening. He kept threatening me, and I fought him. I swear to God I did. Asher, I loved you. I fell in love and I fought your brother, but he had this dirt on me, and then he was planning to hurt you on purpose without me, so I?—"
His hand touched mine, then his other. He leaned forward and clasped both of my hands together in his as he, himself, shed a few tears. When I looked into his eyes I saw my Asher, the one who made me believe his whole world stopped revolving when I was near him.
"Was it real, Veda?" He paused, squeezing my hands. "Any of it? Our time together, the way you spoke to me, the sex… Was it real for you or just part of the act?"
Forget crying—I was sobbing, great heaving gulps of air that shook my body as I slid to my knees and draped myself over his lap in an ugly cry so loud I was sure my neighbors heard me. He let me stay there for a moment until I had better control of myself.
Then I responded, "Yes, Asher. Every bit of it was real. It's real. I'm real." I rubbed my eye with one hand as I knelt in front of him. "That first day when you almost kissed me shattered any illusion I had that I could do what your brother wanted me to do. And every second after that, all I wanted was to take care of you."
His forehead furrowed, mouth pouting slightly. "And you're pregnant… Did you plan that?"
"Baby, no…" I shook my head and continued. "I would never do that. I insisted that we use protection, remember? I wasn't wanting a baby so young. You just made me lose control and those first few times we…" I let my words trail off as more tears flooded his cheeks. I felt like it was my fault. "I just kept it from you because Clayton would've weaponized it after hearing about your baby. I couldn't let him do that."
Asher sobbed now, kissing my hands fiercely. "I wanted to be a father… Want… to be."
"I know, baby," I said, careful not to make any assumptions. "And you are going to be, and you'll be the best dad ever. And I know it's hard and I'm the worst person ever. It doesn’t mean we have to be together or anything. We'll have joint custody or something, and I'll pay Clayton back, even if it takes me ten years."
He lowered our hands and then let go of mine to wipe his face. "Thank you for speaking to the board on my behalf."
"Asher, that never should've had to happen. You did nothing wrong. I was just setting the record straight." My heart was ready to burst. "I love you more than anything, you know. Even if you never took me back, I want you to be happy and succeed. And I want you to?—"
Asher's hands cupped both of my cheeks and pulled me in to the most scorching kiss we'd ever shared. His mouth parted, and I let him search me with his tongue. I wasn't prepared for any of this, but I wasn't going to tell him to stop. I needed him like the desert needs rain, more than the air I breathed.
"I'm so angry with you, Veda Porter… so furious I could scream," he said between kisses that continued to steal my breath. "But I'd rather be angry with you and have you than be angry alone. I need you in my life."
His words only brought more tears for both of us, but he didn't back away. If anything, the kiss intensified to the point I was starting to feel my body wake up. His hands slid from my face to rest on my sides where he pulled me closer, so I crawled forward until I knelt between his knees and his hands gripped my butt firmly.
"Don't stay mad at me forever…" I breathed when his mouth left mine and his teeth raked down my neck.
Asher pulled back just enough to look at me, eyes dark and glassy with unshed tears. “I’m not letting you go, Veda,” he whispered hoarsely. "But you’re going to have to earn your way back into my good graces. Do you understand?”
I nodded, quickly understanding what he was saying. “Yes.”
“Yes, what?” His thumb brushed my lower lip as his eyes darted around my face, drinking in my willing expression.
“Yes, Daddy,” I whispered, but I didn't dare let myself smile, though my heart was exploding with joy.
His breath hitched. “That’s my good girl. Now, stand up for me.”
I rose on shaky legs. He stayed seated, hands sliding to my hips, guiding me between his spread thighs.
“Take the sweater off,” he said softly. “Slowly… Let me watch.”
I grasped the hem and peeled it upward, inch by inch, until it cleared my head. I wore nothing beneath but a thin lace bra. Cool air chilled my skin but his gaze warmed everything else.
“Beautiful,” he murmured. “Now the bra. Hands behind your back when you do it.”
I reached back, unclasped, and let the straps slide down my arms. The lace fell away and he exhaled reverently, as if he'd been waiting for this his whole life.
“Look at you,” he said. “God, you're gorgeous and perfect." His hand splayed on my stomach. "And soon, this belly will swell with life… All mine…"
Tears pricked my eyes. “I am yours…”
