I didn't want the same thing for him no matter what the future looked like for me.
He deserved better.
27
ASHER
"I'm sorry, Bob. I know… I just can't anymore." The amber liquid in my glass swirled around as I stared into it knowing exactly what I was doing. Almost to sixty days sober and I was throwing it away because of my emotion, but I didn’t even care. I had no tools in my emotional toolbox to deal with a betrayal this painful."
"Do you want me to come sit with you?" It was a kind gesture, but it wouldn’t stop me from drinking myself to death.
"You don't have to, Bob. It's a bar. I don't want you to be as tempted as me." I brought the glass to my lips and drank deeply then set it down with only a few drops left and jerked my chin upward at the bartender, Tony, with whom I'd become almost friendly. He hadn’t seen me in months and this was somewhat of a reunion of sorts.
"I'll come sit with you… Just try to put the glass down, Asher. You know what it does to you."
Robert hung up, but I sat there waiting for the bartender to bring my next round because after the bomb Clayton dropped on mejust before, there was no hope for my life ever getting out of this hole again. He could have the job and the company. I wanted nothing to do with him. I had enough to live off comfortably for a few years and in that time, my liver would give up the ghost anyway.
When the door opened I felt a cool breeze and assumed it was my sponsor coming to lecture me. He'd rip the glass out of my hand or smack it away or something. But he had no clue the amount of pain I was in. The woman I was ready to propose to had been nothing more than an illusion made up by my spiteful brother. And I had believed every bit of his lie.
"Asher…" I heard and it made my blood boil at the very sound. That same tinkling tone that used to send my heart fluttering now had my throat constricting and my chest aching like my heart might stop beating any second.
Veda stood behind me, or beside me. I couldn’t see her, didn't want to look up at her either. But she was there. I could smell her shampoo and sense the way sound shifted around her form as it traveled to meet my ear.
"Go away," I said bluntly. It was the kindest thing I could say given the circumstance. The very idea that I almost proposed to her sounded preposterous to me now. The ring box in my pocket felt like lava searing its way through my body and soul.
"Asher, please… Let me explain." I heard her shoes on the bar floor, noticed the way Tony watched us as he set my drink in front of me. I reached for it, making her whimper audibly.
"I think Clayton explained enough," I told her but she didn't back away still.
"Asher, please. You don't understand."
I kept hoping this was some bad dream. That I'd wake up to an alarm screaming at me to get ready for work only to discover I'd been duped and my life was just as perfect as I imagined it to be. But it wasn’t a dream. The burn of whiskey in my throat made that much clear.
I turned, taking in the sight of her red-rimmed eyes and tangled, damp hair. "Alright, why don’t you just make it perfectly clear to me why I shouldn't hate you and everything you stand for."
My words forced a squeak from her throat and more tears from her eyes. She chewed the inside of her cheek nervously, but my natural tendency to lean in and calm her was gone. Replaced with anger and pain I knew I would never recover from.
"He paid me to work for you, and he paid me to seduce you."
I scoffed and turned back to my drink because I couldn’t stand the sight of her. She openly confessed to working with my brother. That alone was enough to end any affection I had.
"You can leave now."
"No, I can't," she mumbled. "Because you don't know my side." She stepped forward and touched my arm, and I jerked away from her like her fingers burned me. "Please… That first day you were so drunk and you were obviously hurting. I had no clue you lost a wife and a child—" I tensed, snarling at her, and she paused for a moment. "You were so drunk, Asher. It was easy to see why Clayton thought you were bad for the company."
Veda sniffled a few times as she lowered herself onto the stool next to me but I still didn’t look up at her. "He wanted me to make you look bad. I was a horrible person for accepting that, but the minute I saw how badly you were hurting I knew I could never hurt you more." Her fingers wiped some tears away fromher cheeks, sending a whiff of her perfume toward me. "It was all real for me, Asher. Every bit of it."
"You expect me to believe that?" I asked out the side of my mouth.
"I expect you to listen, nothing more." She sighed and stutter-breathed. "By the time I'd realized how horrible Clayton was, it was too late. He already paid me half the million and?—"
"Just leave," I growled, because I was done listening to her excuses. I'd never be able to look at her the same way again. Just knowing she was the sort of person who could accept a bribe like that for such a disgusting service made my skin crawl.
"Please, you can't sit here drinking. You're ruining your progress. I never meant to?—"
"I said leave!" My voice was louder than necessary, but hitting a woman wasn't an option. I turned to see her tears return with force, shoulders shaking as heaving sobs left her mouth.
It was quite ironic that Veda Porter had been the very reason I chose to get sober. Yet here I was in a bar trying to drown my emotions because of something she did.
