For all I know she’s petrified, her entire posture and expression turned to stone.
“I’m sorry, Coraline. Tell me what to do?” I need tohold her, but I know I have no right to. I fucking gave that up when I made my stupid choices.
“I’m sorry,” I say again, and I feel the sentiment deep inside me, twisting with guilt and fear.
“Tell me everything. And don’t you dare leave anything out.” The ice in her tone pierces through me like a dagger.
I nod. I don’t see a point in recounting my actions, but she is in charge here. A humbling experience. “Okay. Do you want to sit?”
“Talk,” she snaps.
I take a deep breath. “I wanted you since I first met you at Cal’s Christmas party. You didn’t take me seriously. You sassed me, and frankly didn’t even look at me the way I saw you. I thought that would be it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. At first, it wasn’t that crazy, intense thinking about you every waking minute. The memory of you just quietly crept in. I would remember you here and there. I never thought of anyone but myself before. And the obsession with you grew with every run-in.”
She is mere feet away, but the gap between us stretches endlessly.
Sweat trickles down my spine. I’ve given presentations that have yielded small fortunes. I’ve negotiated hundreds of millions of dollars. I’ve dealt with important information, pitched risky ideas.
None of it ever felt as critical. As urgent. As vital.
“I invited you to the gala. I thought I would fuck you and move on. But you… I don’t know… You slipped under my skin. And when I took you to Corm’s mom’s luncheon, and we spent the afternoon together… I saw a possibility, but you were still fighting it. I was desperate.”
“And then Roxy gave you a file about me.” She folds her arms across her chest, impatience radiating from her.
I nod.
“And you bribed Sanjay to leave me. Why?”
“I wanted you to depend on my help. I didn’t think that the story about me needing a wife would sway you.”
“Is that all you did? And think carefully about how much you’re going to omit. I have no room left for more shocking discoveries.” Her chin quivers. She lowers her arms, hugging her midriff now.
The hurt is prominent in her posture, in her expression, in the words she says, and in those she doesn’t. If it’s only an ounce as agonizing as what I feel… Fuck, I hate this. I will never forgive myself for hurting her this much. For betraying her trust.
“I found your ex-fiancé’s son and his mother, and I paidher to run into you.”
Her eyes widen. “But what were the chances of such an encounter?”
“It didn’t matter when it happened. In my mind, I took the steps to eliminate the competition.”
“Like I was a business transaction?” She snorts and leans against the windowsill, spent.
“I paid your employee, and I bought the building to hike up your rent.” I recount all my unhinged actions.
She gasps, stumbling to the chair, sagging into it, broken. My insides burn with the poison of my actions. With my inability to take the pain away from her.
The fucked-up part? I don’t regret doing it. At the end of the day, it brought us happiness. I only regret that she feels the agony of the discovery.
Desperately, I want to say, ‘Look at the bright side,’ but I lost any privileges when I made the choices that led us here.
“Is that all?” A tear rolls down her cheek.
“Yes.”
She snorts. Like my word means shit. It probably does, considering everything I fucked up.
“I’m sorry,” I plead again.
She shakes her head, her eyes downcast. I can’t stand it and drop to my knees beside her.
