And this time, it might not glue back together quite so easily.
I don’t know how long I wander around aimlessly. The worst part? I can’t reach deep enough to find anger or sadness. I’m just numb, completely empty.
Someone bumps into me and I stumble, but it’s New York, and crowds flow around me, unaffected by my personal turmoil.
He paid off Sanjay.
I wish I could just laugh it off. I wish I could go back to this morning, when we both climaxed in the shower before I left the house with a spring in my step.
My phone vibrates in my purse, but I don’t want to look at it. I don’t want to merge back into daily existence as if nothing has happened.
The vibration doesn’t stop.
I relent.
I dash into another cafe and shiver as the AC air accosts me.
“Are you in the line?” someone urges behind me.
I shake my head and slouch into an empty chair. Ifinally fish out my phone. On the locked screen, I see several missed calls and messages.
Xander
Lunch is waiting.
Are you running late?
Where the fuck are you?
Cora, I’m going crazy here. Answer the phone.
God, I hope you’re okay.
The phone rings, and I drop it to the table, startled. The picture of Xander’s grinning face mocks me.
There is no point in dragging the agony out. I answer.
“Cora, for fuck’s sake. I got Lindsay calling around the emergency rooms. Where are you? Are you okay, love?”
Love?
I want to find words, but they are not coming.
“Cora?”
I look around, searching for an anchor. Anything to ground me and help me breathe.
I’m sitting across from the Merged offices. I didn’t know I’d walked this way. I didn’t even know I was here. But the realization gives me a purpose.
“I ran into Sanjay.”
“Who the fuck is Sanjay?”
Jesus. It goes from bad to worse. “My former employee.”
The silence on the other end of the line is deafening. It whooshes through me with vicious pain.
“Where are you, Cora?” His demand is laced with panic.
