“Fair enough.” He brings my knuckles to his mouth.
“I only wanted to protect myself.” The adrenaline crush seeps into my bones, the exhaustion growing.
I turn to him, his beautiful face frowning.
“You were right,” I continue. “I did see you as a young, rich playboy. But I also saw this playful, carefree, confident, and generous man, who made me laugh and who challenged me. I wasn’t sure which version would hurt me more. But I saw you for you, Xander. Always. The problem was, I never saw myself as someone who belonged at your side.”
We stare at each other, the space between us filled with tension, sadness, and frustration. But also with an ever-present pull. A pull I had tried to ignore when we met. A pull that has been prevalent between us beyond logic, expectations, pre-conceived notions.
I move my fingers slowly to wrap them around his, holding his hand back.
Xander squeezes with a sad but hopeful smile.
And then something snaps in me, and I push off my seat, swing my leg over, and straddle him.
Xander’s eyes widen with surprise before I fuse my mouth with his. The kiss is desperate and frustrating,because it doesn’t fully satiate the burning need inside me.
This might be adrenaline. This might be a mistake after all that transpired today, but for once, I need to take what I want. Not what I should. Or what others might expect.
My hands yank at the clasp of his pants. I pull his zipper down. Xander grips my wrist before I can reach into his waistband, and I groan. I fucking groan.
“Are you sure this is what you want right now?” His voice is strained. He’s about to lose it, but he’s making sure I consent to what I started… He’s giving me pause, so I don’t regret my impulsiveness.
“I’m not sure about want, but I need it. I need you to make the hurt go away. Make me feel better.”
It’s like I released a trigger. Xander grips the neckline of my dress and rips it apart.
“It was ruined anyway.” He shrugs and latches onto my nipple.
He bites and soothes with his tongue.
He squeezes with his hands.
My back arches as a primal moan leaves my lips.
“Take. Out. My. Cock. Coraline.”
My skin throbs with need. My mind is dazed. My heart is pounding. My body needing. Needing more. So much yearning.
His cock is hard like a rod, pre-cum glistening onhis tip. I squeeze his base tight, and Xander growls. He pulls me in for another kiss, fisting my hair.
And then he moves my underwear to the side. “Look at you, beautiful pussy, needing me so much.”
I practically drip into his hand. Good, because I don’t want to waste time; I want him to fill me.
I push his hand away and position his head at my entrance. We watch as I lower myself. However we got here, this is where I want to be right now.
The anger still sizzles, the hurt still lingers, the damage exists. But no road is without obstacles, and deep down, I know he didn’t want to hurt me. Deep down, I know his lie wasn’t a betrayal.
It was manipulation, for sure, but we can get over this. I can get over this, because we love each other.
“Fuck me, husband,” I drawl as a form of absolution.
He didn’t apologize.
I forgave.
I shouldn’t have.
