She made me play with them, spend the whole day there.She said it would calm my heart.And she was right.Now she’s trying to heal me again.
I mumble under my breath, nudging the empty beer can with my toe until it rolls and stops by the dining table leg.“Okay.I’ll come home for Christmas this year.”
“Oh, thank goodness.Praise the Lord.I’ll be waiting, honey.You’d better book a ticket soon before they sell out.”
“Don’t worry.I’ll let you know,” I whisper.
“I’ll make your favorite bread pudding.”
“Okay.”
“Love you,” she says.
“Love you too,” I reply, my voice barely above a whisper.
The call ends, and I rest my head on my knees.I cry again after hearing Mom’s voice.How does someone like her still exist in this world?She’s too good for it.I must be the luckiest person alive to have her.
I take a few deep breaths and lean my head against the fridge door, trying to ease the beer buzz.My eyes stay shut for a while until my chest loosen a bit.Both my hands wipe the tears from my cheeks, smearing whatever’s left of my makeup.
Something in me just snaps, pushing me to grab my phone and open the ticket app.Without thinking twice, I book a flight to Boston for tonight.Once the ticket is sent to my email, I get up, toss the empty beer cans into the trash, and head to my room.
I pull open the closet, take out my clothes, and start packing them into a big suitcase.My eyes land on the couch.Alan’s gift bags are still there, the ones he gave me after we wrapped the ad shoot.
I grab the bags, dump everything out, and shove the stuff into my suitcase.I throw in all my clothes and a few branded things I’ve been keeping around, not caring if it all fits perfectly.It doesn’t take me long to finish packing, call a cab, and head straight for the airport.
* * *
“Oh, honey!You weren’t kidding when you said you’d be home before ten tonight!”
Mom’s voice bursts with surprise and pure joy as she pulls me into her arms.The warmth of her hug hits me hard, melting everything heavy inside my chest.I’m crying again, clutching her tighter.Her body feels smaller, more fragile than I remember, and I rest my head on her shoulder, sobbing quietly.
She holds me close, rubbing my back the way she used to when I was little.“It’s okay, sweetheart.Everything’s gonna be fine.I’m here, always here for you.”
Her voice is soft and calm, the kind that could quiet any storm.I’m home again.Maybe I’m just being dramatic, or maybe I’m slipping back into being her spoiled kid.
“I missed you, Mom,” I mumble between shaky breaths.
“Yeah, honey.I missed you too.I missed you so much it hurts,” she whispers near my ear.
“I’m sorry for being such an ungrateful mess.I know I’ve been a lousy daughter, and I made you lonely.”I pull back just enough to see her face through my blurry eyes.
“It’s okay, baby.You’ll always be my one and only princess,” she says, brushing the hair from my face, her own eyes glistening.“You’ve just been busy.I get it.”
A long sigh escapes me as I melt into her arms again.“Thanks, Mom.”
“Welcome home, honey,” she murmurs, hugging me tighter.
I cry until the cold night air creeps into the house.Then I close the door, kick off my shoes, and move closer to the fireplace.I curl up on the couch with my head in her lap, letting the warmth soak in.
Just for a bit.I just need to rest for a while.
12
Home Sweet Home
Fenella
“Fenella!Come on, it’s time to wake up.”
