My life had improved considerably since his lamp had washed into it. I hadn’t had to improve anyone else’s life for that.
Though… things hadn’t worsened when I’d given him a room outside his lamp. Or freed him. Or made him tea. In fact, everything had improved each of those times.
I studied Andar’s features. They’d grown more open. Was that really just his performance for me, orhad all the things he’d done for me changed him during the last few days?
Was it changing me?
I needed a mirror.
Or a sheet of ice. I could make that and—
Andar gave my knee a gentle squeeze, bringing my mind back to the topic. The horses that he wanted to give away.
“How would we make our journey?” I asked.
Andar shrugged. “It’s less than a day’s ride to the Summer Chasm—an easy two-day walk. I’m sure we can find another set once we get into Veran if we want.”
I turned from him to the three worn-out fae in the wide doorframe. They looked too hopeful to say anything—until Bummel swept his hat off his head and wrung it between his hands. “It would mean the weeping world to us. Lift our hearts and make our souls sing.”
Huh. He’d managed that without messing up any of the words. I faced Andar again. I was more willing to do it because he wanted me to than for whatever good those other three—or I—needed. I wanted Andar to stay with me, and the best way to encourage that would be to do as he asked.
And he did ask nicely.
I leaned into the stirrup closest to Andar and lifted my other leg over the saddle. The glamour made layers of my non-existent dress flutter with the movement, but my simpler leather leggings made the dismounteasy. I landed with a light hop and pointed at Andar. “I’ll do it for you, not them.”
He smiled, a youthful energy filling his face. “I’ll take it. The results will be the same.”
Bummel buried his face into the horse’s throat and started muttering. “Mallifuff! I feared we’d never see each other again. That you would be… Oh, Mallifuff!”
Aakil caught me staring. “We think he meant to call the gelding something like Magnific. Or Malik. Or Magnus.” He shrugged. “There’s only so much we can do.”
Bummel was a strange one. All the musicians were. But Aakil was the least obnoxious, so I turned my attention to him more fully. He caught my gaze and bowed his head, perhaps realizing he’d been less formal with me than he should have.
“We are grateful, Your Majesty,” Aakil said, drawing the attention of the other two. “I fear this is a debt we cannot repay.”
There is no debt.Andar’s insistence over the last few days almost answered without permission, but those were his words. They would not come so easily from my mouth.
“It is not a debt you are meant to repay,” I said instead. “Also—” I extended my hand and wrapped it in magic. “I would like to end our previous bargain.”
Bummel shifted closer. “Your Majesty is most generous—”
“It is nothing to do with generosity,” I interrupted. “I decided I’d like to wait to announce my return. I have… some things to take care of first.”
A harmonica appeared in Bummel’s hand. As he lifted it to his lips, I lunged forward and grabbed his wrist. “Stop. Sing my praises after we part ways.”
The terrifying instrument disappeared into the folds of his cloak. “As you wish.”
Chapter 17: Andar
The queen didn’t know how to start conversations, so the first half of our hike passed in near silence.
I had ten thousand things I wanted to ask her about, but I was preoccupied with my own moral dilemma. The queen was supposed to be a means to an end. The road to my freedom. I’d tricked her into thinking I would help her get vengeance, but now that I’d unchained my oppressed conscience, it was reasserting itself with a new vigor. And in exposing my own vulnerabilities to trick her into trusting me, I’d grown protective of that trust.
Tricking her had been wrong. Abandoning her now would be wrong. Helping her get vengeance on a couple humans who did not deserve it would be wrong.
But I could not fix all three. My less-than-helpful conscience insisted I should correct them all, but it refused to identify a solution.
If I confessed my trickery, she would feel betrayed. If I protected the humans, I would betray her confidence. If I avoided betraying her, innocent humans would suffer.
