He picked up a pillow and set it on his lap. “I told you my story—my family and how I was trapped. I would like to know yours—your family and how you were trapped.”
I copied his idea with the pillow, clenching it between my hands. “And if I tell you this, our debt will be resolved?”
He shook his head and his eyes filled with that burning glow again. “There is no debt.”
I didn’t believe him. I didn’t know how his fae nature allowed him to say the words, but it was not possible that he wouldn’t want the Snow Queen to owe him. Unless he wanted to save the debt for something bigger later. “Admit it,” I demanded.
One of his brows popped up. “Admit what?”
“Say the words—that sharing this will eliminate my debt to you!”
He shook his head again. “I already told you—”
I leaned into my pillow. “Then I’m not talking.”
“Shh.” He pointed a finger at the door, reminding me to stay softer.
I folded my arms and lowered my volume. “If you want to know my story, I need you to say that it will satisfy my debt to you.”
Andar sighed, deep and slow, and then leaned across the bed with a hand stretched out to me, as if he wanted to make a bargain. Curious, I set my hand in his. As he spoke, a wave of magic carried an air of truth deep into my soul. “You do not owe me any debt. But, if you did, telling me the story of your family and how you came to be imprisoned would certainly satisfy it.”
He let go of my hand, and I straightened up, backing to the edge of my side of the bed again. I wasn’t sure what he was doing to my heart, but the longing it felt when he touched me was terrifying. I needed as much space between us as the bed allowed.
I wrapped my arms around a pillow and checked my voice. I wanted to tell him my story—I wanted it tobalance the debt I owed him for the charade he was giving me. But I did not want anyone else to overhear.
Andar raised a finger, and then waved it in a circle. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of that earlier,” he muttered. Louder, he said, “I’ve created a silencing ward. Nobody can hear anything we say.” His brows furrowed. “Someone with the right magic or experience could detect it though—would you like me to remove it?”
“No.” I settled into the bed. “If someone recognizes it, I think they will accept the idea that I am stressed and anxious and don’t want anyone listening to me.”
He stacked the pillows and blankets nearest him and leaned into them.
I took a deep breath. I had never told my story to anyone. But he had told me his—he could claim I owed him mine.
But he hadn’t.
I set that thought aside for later and focused on what he wanted to know. My family and my downfall. My eyes fell to the bed. “I was born into a ruthless game of power. My mother’s cousin was the king for my early childhood, but my parents killed him and his wife and took the throne. They taught me that if you had enough of the right kind of power, you could have or do anything you wanted.”
I risked a glance up at Andar, but his expression revealed none of his thoughts, so I dropped my gaze again and continued. “What I really wanted was to beacknowledged, wanted for who I was and not how much power I could command. But the only way my parents would see me was through my power. The only true way to earn their respect was to defeat them. I found extra power in structuring my magic into crystalline patterns, guarded my vulnerable feelings, destroyed my parents, took the throne, and united Kalshana under my crystal banner. Nobody dared to defy me.”
Because I killed anyone who dared, like I’d nearly killed the musicians—musicians he’d convinced me to keep alive. He did not seem to like murder, despite claiming to have started more wars than I had. How did I tell this next part without appearing more cruel than he liked? I squeezed a pillow, squishing the air out of it. What did it matter if he thought I was cruel? He said he’d done similar things. And he was only helping me because I’d freed him. Eventually I’d destroy Prince Bylur and demand the noble lords submit to my rule again. The kingdom’s power would be mine. One summer fae’s opinion of me did not matter.
“Nobody defied me,” I went on, “but nobody wanted to spend any more time with me than necessary for their own purposes. Winter fae sought my favor, other rulers offered treaties and bargains, but they were all for the same self-serving power game that I just happened to be winning.”
I met Andar’s gaze again. “And I was tired of it. It was cutthroat and meaningless. Who cared that I hadconquered the kingdom? Nobody, unless it benefitted them somehow.”
If anyone could understand this, surely it would be this fae who had been subject to the whims of other people’s lusts for power during his imprisonment in the lamp. Perhaps he would not judge me so harshly. “I wanted out of the power struggle, but I could not escape it. Not as queen. But one day I found a human man roaming our woods. I thought he would not be so bound to the struggle for power and, in his freedom, he might grow to be my first true friend. I offered him everything. Anything he could ask for. In exchange, I wanted his public support and company during court events. He agreed, and I gave him a suite in the castle.”
Andar’s brows pinched. “Are you saying he chose to go with you willingly? With no coercion or deception?”
I shifted my attention to the wall behind the headboard. An amateur painting of a frozen lake hung above the bed. I studied the ice as I answered. “There may have been the smallest degree of deception.”
He chuckled. “Oh, Your Majesty. Don’t hold back now. What did you do?”
I folded my arms over the pillow and glared at him. “He was upset about a grandparent’s death and originally went to the forest to try to relax. He stumbled into our lands through a portal that he lost track of. I offered him the use of my crystal magic—I can block troublesome emotions so they do not distress you—and he accepted it. After that, it was only natural thathe’d return to the palace with me to enjoy a life of luxury and satisfaction.”
Andar folded his arms to match mine. “Your crystal magic only blocks troublesome emotions?”
I huffed. “All emotions are troublesome.”
