My phone lights up with a text notification from Will. Today has been a whirlwind of a day and all I want to do is tell him all about how Sandra Fray personally asked me to work on the Natalie Miller case, but I can’t, that’d be breaking the ironclad NDA I signed when I first started working here.
Will:Tell me something good
Uh oh, that means Will either had a bad day, or a bad practice, which to him might be one in the same. He’s done this since he was really little. If he’s upset, he likes to ask everyone around him to tell him something good about their day.
I can’t stop myself from over analyzing the fact that Will texted me personally instead of the mega Taylor/Brooks family group chat like usual.
I literally just talked myself out of telling him about the Miller case, but letting him know Sandra personally asked me to work with her isn't technically breaking any part of my NDA, and itissomething good.
Kennedy:Sandra Fray personally asked me to work with her on a high profile case
Kennedy:I’m kind of freaking out
Will:You’re incredible
I re-read his message multiple times, commanding myself to once again stop over thinking every interaction I have with Will, he doesn’t like me and he’s extremely off limits! I want to ask him about his day today, but I don’t.
Instead briefly text back and forth about astronomy class. I lock my phone and put it in my bag before starting anothertimer where I’ll spend the next 90 minutes absorbed in the world of Jackson Schyler and Natalie Miller.
???
Serendipity is packed, per usual, but I’m craving a hot coffee before class today and decided it was worth the risk of being late to astronomy. Today is the first day where it no longer feels like summer to me. The weather is cool enough for a sweater and I took full advantage of the opportunity. I’ve got on a white cable knitted top and a black skirt. I couldn’t stop myself from wearing a red lip, and sue me for wanting a pumpkin spice latte.
I’ve been waiting for a few minutes and feel a little awkward hanging out by the front counter, so I take one ear bud out and find a seat at a table nearby. Every few seconds or so I glance up from my phone and skim my eyes around the room. Will loves people watching, it's his favorite way to procrastinate. I find myself looking around for anything funny or weird to report back to him. Will once caught a guy repeatedly stink his hand in his buttcrack and sniff it, then successfully get a girl's number from the study desk one over. It was all he could talk about for a week. The most interesting thing I’ve seen people watching on my own is someone picking their nose and eating it.
Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, I abandon the phone entirely and start people watching with full abandon. There's a line of people waiting to place an order and there seems to be some weather confusion. Almost every girl in line is wearing some cute fall weather look while almost every boy is wearing shorts and a tee shirt.
From the tables I can see from my seat, it looks like there’s a couple on a first date. Cute. There’s a girl reading a book in the corner booth, and I wonder how much of her book she’sactually reading right now, versus how much is she just sitting like me, people watching, using the book as an excuse. There’s a really hot guy watching a video out loud, yuck. And Carter.
The knot in my chest goes so tight my eyes feel watery. My ears are ringing and I’m caught between pretending like I don’t see him and running away, coffee be damned.
I pick my phone back up, then put it back down, flicking my eyes back in his direction. He’s not looking at me, thankfully, but what the fuck? This is supposed to be a place where I don’t have to worry about running into Carter. He hates it here. He told me relentlessly how much this place sucked and grossed him out, so him being here makes no sense.
“Kennedy!” the barista at the pick up counter shouts out and my heart drops out of my chest and onto the floor. I turn my head toward Carter, who looked up at my name and we lock eyes. Holding eye contact with me, he nods, then picks up his coffee in a pink china mug and takes a sip.
I snap my body forward, stepping toward the pick up counter and gripping the two pumpkin spiced lattes I ordered. I walk carefully and slowly out the side door, keeping my eyes forward no matter how much I want to turn my head and check to see if he’s watching me.
I’m several hundred feet away before I can slow down enough to take a full breath. I swallow, lungs heaving, blinking back the hot sting of tears under the bridge of my nose.
No, no, no, no, no!I will not cry. Carter does not have that kind power over me anymore. Especially not now, not from just seeing him. We didn’t even speak!
I shake my head, trying to physically shake Carter out of my mind.
I’m having a panic attack. I’m fine.
The leaves, the bench, that patch of dead grass, a guy locking his bike to a bike rack, a squirrel.
A car door closing, wind rushing through branches, leaves crunching, a woman laughing.
The scratch of the tag against my neck, two hot coffees in my hands, the seam of my sock under my left big toe.
The smell of coffees in my hands, my perfume.
The lingering mint of my toothpaste.
I take a few steps away from where I was frozen in place on the walking path, forcing people to go around me, and take a seat on the coated metal bench. It's cold, seeping through my clothes and into my skin. I close my eyes and inhale, taking a quick inventory of myself.
The knot in my chest is much looser, Carter is nowhere to be seen, and I have class in less than five minutes.
