Rhett clinks his beer with mine, and I bring it to my lips. It was a long week. Plus, it’s good to drown out the nerves. Aspen and Willow have been hanging out a little bit more this week. She called me earlier this afternoon to let me know that she and Willow would be joining us tonight.
I feel nervous, and it’s ridiculous, considering that we live together. She’s everywhere, in my office, around the property and in my home. I see Willow every single day. In fact, it smells more like her these days, and it does me, but I love it. Sometimes I follow into rooms after she leaves just to take a deep inhale of her vanilla scent.
The truth is out about why I left her on that porch all those years ago, and I’ve made it good and clear where I stand. Or rather, where I want to stand, right by her. At her side for the rest of our lives. I know it’ll take time. It feels like every step forward we take, something sends us two steps back. We’re better than we were when she got here, friends even.
Never in my life did I think friends would taste so bitter on my tongue. But I hate it. I don’t want to be her friend. I want to be so much more and I thought telling her the truth would help. Maybe it did, but we’re teetering on the edge, and I don’t know if she’s going to let herself fall.
For now, I’ll be counting my blessings that she allows me in her presence. When she first got here, I wasn’t sure if we’d even get to that point. She acted as if we had never known each other. God, but I know every inch of her. I know exactly the way her curves feel under my hands. Sometimes I find myself reaching out, wanting just to touch her.
I’ve gone as far as thinking of ways to sabotage this project to make her stay out here longer. The longer she’s here, the longer shot I have of earning her heart back. It’s wishful thinking, but it’s the only hope I’ve got, especially now that I’ve had her back in my life. I can’t stand to have her out of it.
Coming back to reality, I spot Maverick as he spins Ava around on the dance floor and it brings me back to the conversation he and I had right here in this very spot. Little did I know that a year later I would need to take my own advice. That if you want something, you have to take the risk. I didn’t realize how scary it can be to put yourself out there when your heart is on the line. I don’t know if I can handle losing her again.
Willow and Aspen sit at the table next to us, laughing as they sip their drinks. Every day that she’s here, I see a bit more of the old Willow come out, the one who was carefree but driven. Kind but strong. I think all of her has been in there the whole time, but what I did to her was the last straw. She buried all the parts of her that made her soft, that made her vulnerable, and damn it, I hate myself for it. Those were always the very best parts. I thought I did the right thing years ago, but it’s become the biggest regret of my life. I wish I could take it back.
I want to play it cool and not push her, but I’m as far from cool as I can get. I am a man undone by my love for her, and it’s eating at me a little more every day.
Aspen breaks my trance, sighing deeply. “I want to dance, and you’re all being boring.”
Rhett gets up, a smile on his face. “Well, we can’t have that, now can we?”
Aspen does an excited squeal and bounces on her toes as she grabs Rhett’s hands and drags him to the dance floor. At least she’s dancing with him and not one of these trashy horndogs in here. My boys protect her like she’s one of their own, and I thank God for that. I don’t have enough time to be chasing boys that don’t deserve her away.
Willow sits next to me, fidgeting with her hands in her lap. Things have still been a little off since our dinner a couple of days ago.
Just ask her to dance, you idiot.
Taking a deep breath, I stand up, wiping my palms against my jeans. I’m so fucking nervous I feel like I’m fifteen again and going to ask her to be my girlfriend.
I move to stand in front of her. She looks up from her hands in her lap, our gazes catching.
“So, what do you say we go join them out there?” I keep my smile small as I hitch my thumb over my shoulder, pointing to the dance floor.
Her eyes nervously shift from me to Aspen and Rhett spinning on the dance floor. I can hear my sisters’ laughter over the music, and I want to feel that. That little bit of joy, and the person who can bring it to me, is right in front of me.
“Come on, dance with me, Sunshine.” I reach down and gently grab her hands, not giving her the chance to say no, cause if I can get a chance, I won’t blow it this time.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” She slightly pulls against me, but not enough to make me think she doesn’t want this.
“Well, I think it’s the best idea I've had in a long time.” A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. Having her close tends to do that.
“Well, good ideas come so few and far between for you, we shouldn’t waste it.” The little twinkle in her eye makes my chest feel like it’s going to explode. She’s flirting with me.
“No, we shouldn’t. Plus, I could tell you wanted to dance with me but were too scared to ask, so I figured I should be a gentleman.” I shrug nonchalantly.
I spin her in a circle the second we hit the dance floor, and she laughs and ends up looking right at me.
“Ha! If that’s what you need to tell yourself, I’ll play along.” Her eyes have a sparkle in them that wasn’t there when she first got here. It’s like Windy Peaks brought her back to life. This town has that effect on people.
“So, you going to play cards with Grandpa and me this week? I think the only way he can’t cheat is if he has all of our eyes on him.” My hand moves to her waist as we move around the floor.
She shakes her head and squeezes my hand. “I still can’t believe you two have been hanging out behind my back all these years.”
“Well, now that you know, you’re welcome to join us. He’s missed you. I haven’t seen him this happy in years.”
Her grandpa has always been the one constant in her life; the bond they share is special. “It’s been so nice being able to be with him again, even if you show up and crash our party.” She jokes. The tempo of the music changes, and the band transitions to playing as a slow song. Willow looks to me. “That’s our cue.” She goes to step off the dance floor, but I grab her by the hand, stopping her.
“Come on, at least give me one full dance,” I plead with her to stay with me, just a few more seconds of having her in my arms.
