It’s stupid to let these things stop me from going out and having a good time. I’ve wanted to see Aspen more, and now I have the chance. She’s stopped by more since I’ve been here, but it’s only a few minutes on her way home. Really, my boss can wait to have his list of weekly accomplishments. Maybe I’ll just forget altogether and send him an imaginative middle finger. Being babysat like a child is really grating on my last nerve. I’m really starting to wonder if corporate life is for me. I thought having my own projects would give me the freedom I crave, but it’s felt utterly constricting.
“Fine, but you owe me a beer every time I run into someone I went to high school with.” I stand up and make my way to my bedroom. If I am going to be seeing people from high school, I’m at least going to look hot while doing it.
“Great, I’ll get you drunk, and maybe you’ll remember that you love the fair.”
We pull up to the county fair around eight at night. The bright lights from the rides and light towers shine all around. Our usual sleepy little town is alive tonight.
“Come on, the boys have been here for like an hour.” Aspen grips onto my hand and drags me to the entrance gates. Digging my heels in, I stop in my place. “What do you mean, the boys are here?”
The other benefit of being here was that I got some extra space from Weston. Being around him so much is confusing me. I can’t keep my eyes off him when he’s in the room, and I can’t keep my mind off him when he’s not. I don’t want to want him, but my brain and my heart seem to be on very different pages. Luckily for once, my head is stronger than my heart.
“Duh, it’s just like old times.” She winks at me, and her brown hair sways around her shoulders as she turns and starts pulling me forward. I have a terrible feeling that she’s going to enjoy this, and that she may have even left that little piece of information on purpose.
“You’re officially buying my beers all night,” I mutter.
“Guess it’s a good thing I’ve been working extra then, huh?” She turns around and manages to do a backward skip while doing it. She has grown up to be such a beautiful and confident woman. I’m sure Weston hates that. Not the confidence, but the beautiful part. I’m sure he’s been busy chasing the boys away.
We pull up to the group, and my eyes immediately find Weston. They always do. They do, however, take a second to take in the long, leggy blonde hanging off him. My heart drops, and it feels as if it may have just shattered on the floor.
“Hey guys, sorry we’re late,” Aspen says as she steps between Rhett and Weston.
Rhett smirks as he looks down at her. “If we wanted you here on time, we would have told you to be here an hour ago.”
She rolls her eyes, but the edges of her lips quirk up as she crosses her arms and bumps into him with her side. His smirk morphs into a full smile and his gaze stays locked on her.
Mine, however, fights not to look in Weston’s direction. I want to know what he’s doing, but I can’t stand to see him with someone else. I didn’t think I would; in fact, I had hoped he had moved on, so that it wouldn’t complicate things, but after weeks of not seeing him with anyone else, I thought I was safe. I should know better than to feel safe.
I almost completely miss Mav and Ava while I’m wallowing in my thoughts, but Ava steps forward to greet me.
“Hey, I’m glad you made it out. I was hoping to get to see more of you before this summer was over!” She pulls me into a hug, or tries to, but her bump mostly gets in the way now. “Ugh, sorry, I'm still getting used to walking around with a basketball in my shirt.”
“Don’t be. It’s great to see you. How are you feeling?” We stay with arms locked, and I can’t help but feel a little better with some familiar faces around.“Hungry, tired, and then hungry again,” she says.
The forced tight smile on her face makes it hard not to laugh. She’s not super far along, but I think she’s starting to tiptoe toward the more complex phase of pregnancy. Not that I would know, but the girls who have all had babies in the office have said plenty.
“Well, let’s remedy the hungry part,” Mav says as he throws his arm around her shoulder and presses his lips to her forehead. She waves as he drags her off toward the line of food trucks.
They’re so disgustingly cute that I feel a pang of jealousy shoot through me.
I want that.
I haven’t let myself admit that I want that in a long time, but it’s hard to fight the thought when it’s all around you. With Josh, I wasjust there, co-existing, but that’s not love. I know, because I’ve had that kind of love before. The kind that hums through you like a familiar song, both comforting and intoxicating. It’s the best thing I’ve ever experienced, the heartbreak I experienced after, on the other hand… Gut-wrenching.
My eyes drift to Weston, and I find his eyes are already on me. Watching intently as the girl next to him talks his ear off. I shouldn’t feel happy that he looks like he’s paying more attention to me than her, but here I am feeling relieved. And I know that makes me petty and awful, and I will deal with the guilt of that tomorrow.
“Surprised Aspen drug you out of the house,” he says, interrupting my thoughts. His gaze is like a soft caress, and damn it, I hate it. I hate the way goosebumps appear on my arms, and I especially hate the way my heart pitter-patters around him.
“She bribed me with food and beer.” I shrug my shoulders, trying to hide the war inside my head. “Speaking of, let’s go make good on that deal, yeah?” I raise my eyebrows to Aspen, hoping she’s listening.
She turns from her conversation with Rhett and looks over, “You got it, let’s get you a beer.”
“Or five,” I mutter under my breath as I start walking to the beer garden.
“Heard that,” Aspen says as she loops her arm through mine. “Tell me, what’s making you want to drink five beers?” She asks it like she already knows the answer, and I’m sure she does.
“I’m just thirsty,” I respond simply, not wanting to dive into the myriad of thoughts spiraling in my mind.
“For my brother or for beer? I could probably help you with both of those things, but one will be much easier to obtain.” She checks me with her hip, and I can’t help but smile despite her calling me out.
