“But you still thought about replying.”
“I didn’t. I wouldn’t. You’ve got it all wrong.”
“Actually, I got it from the horse’s mouth,” he says, his eyes horribly cool against me. He tips his head back toward the house. “And then that woman in there says she thought you were with Max.”
I swallow and shake my head. “No. Honestly. I don’t have any feelings for Max. I’m not in touch with him. I don’twantto be in touch with him.”
I feel a hot sweep of shame whenever I reflect on that night in Jools’s kitchen. Time apart from Caleb over the past few weeks has made me realize just how much I want to be with him, and how stupid it was to feel thrown off by the idea of him trying to have a family with Helen. Perhaps he shouldn’t have downplayed its role in his split with her, but as Jools pointed out last week, if it’s not a deal-breaker, it’s crazy to waste any more time worrying about it. I hate being apart from Caleb. I think about him all the time. The idea of splitting up makes me feel cold with misery.
I’ve realized—perhaps too late—just how strongly I feel. How convinced I am that Caleb—not Max—is the one for me, the person I’mmeantto be with.
“So is this what these past few weeks have been about? You’ve been punishing me?” I say quietly.
Caleb shakes his head. “Actually, I’ve been trying to figure out what I’d do if you told me you were getting back with... him. Because the truth is, Lucy, I love you. I’ve fallen in love with you.”
I stare at him, my breath suspended in my throat.
The smile appears first in his eyes, then at the corners of his mouth. “Seriously, I love you. You’re the best person I’ve ever known, handsdown. I’ve even started to believe—” He breaks off, then looks down at his feet.
I reach out and touch his arm. “Believe what?”
He swallows. “I’ve never bought into the idea of soulmates, Lucy. All that stuff about it being written in the stars. Not even when I was married. You know that.”
I nod, hoping very hard that the next word I’ll hear will bebut.
“But I’ve finally been starting to wonder if maybe all this time I’ve had it wrong. That actually, I was meant to meet you that night at The Smugglers. That you and me... we’re meant to be together.”
My heart begins to pelt with happiness.
“And the idea that you might not feel the same way... it’s just been killing me. I’m sorry.”
“I do,” I breathe. “Idofeel the same way. I love you, too. I’m so sorry for nearly messing everything up. I don’t want to break up with you. Ever.”
His smile broadens. “Serious?”
“Serious,” I repeat.
He takes a step toward me, close enough now that we’re almost touching. My back is pressed against the sun-warmed brickwork. Then he lifts his hand, places it on the wall above my head, his eyes steady on my face. His expression is so fiercely charged I get goose bumps. And then he leans forward, kissing me with an intensity I feel right down to my toes. He presses himself against me, and all at once I am burning for him. “I’ve missed you, Lambert,” he breathes.
“I’ve missed you, too.” I’m so desperate to suggest we sneak off upstairs to my bedroom, or even down the lawn to Tash’s garden office, but my conscience just about reins me in. This is my nephew’s sixth birthday, after all, not a university house party.
“Later,” Caleb murmurs, the word landing square in my solar plexus. “We’ll make it worth the wait.”
I kiss him again, my stomach stormy with wanting, then lean back against the wall to collect my stolen breath. Over on the lawn, a squirrel hops across the grass before scaling the silver birch, making its leaves shimmer like water with the disturbance.
“I think,” I say, after a few moments, “I used to believe Max was my soulmate because I never really got closure.”
He nods. “Maybe if you’d stayed together, you would have realized eventually that you weren’t actually... meant to be.”
I smile. “You know, the night I first met you, at The Smugglers, my horoscope told me I was going to bump into my soulmate.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
“Yep.”
“How come you’re only just telling me this now?”
I reach out and prod him gently in the ribs with a single finger. “Because you never believed in soulmates, remember?”
