So I crept into the bathroom alone, where, five minutes later, I wept quiet tears of happiness.
•••
We’re working off breakfast with a walk along the Swan River. Everything this morning is an exultant shade of blue—the sky, the water, the glass faces of the high-rises. Finn’s talking about taking his family out for dinner somewhere, a thank-you for their hospitality, before we fly home. I’m listening but also drifting, tuning in and then out, struggling to focus.
“Finn,” I say, as we reach the water’s edge. He’s wearing a baseball cap and shades, is mulling over our options for restaurants later.
He turns to me. “Yeah, you’re right. I guess that might be a bit heavy on the seafood. We could try that Greek place instead?”
“Finn, I need to tell you something.”
Perhaps instinctively, he takes my hand. I like to feel the ring around his wedding finger—it still seems like a novelty to me, to be Mrs. Callie Petersen, to have a ring around my own finger too.
“Cal, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I say quietly. “I’m pregnant.”
The softest of gasps, then the warmest of kisses, cheeks wet with tears, shoulders shaking in disbelief. He wraps me in his arms and we stay like that for several minutes while around us our life quietly transforms, becomes rich with new color, lustrous with light.
He pulls gently away and levels his face to mine, removing his sunglasses so I can look right into his eyes. “When... when did you...?”
“This morning. I’ve been feeling a bit queasy.” I lined my suitcase with pregnancy tests when we left the UK, just in case.
It’s something we’ve talked about from the start. Finn’s from a big, loving family, and he’s made no secret about wanting children of his own. That was something I wanted too, but I was nervous about things he didn’t see an issue with—like how he would cope with stepping back from our social life, how we’d fit a baby into our tiny flat, whether Murphy would deal with the upheaval okay. Not to mention whether I’d evengetpregnant, being in my late thirties—I’d read so many horror stories about the dreaded biological clock. We’ve been trying for five months, so the relief and gratitude I feel now is immense. It’s all come together. I just have to hope we can adjust to the change we’ve got coming, the different lifestyle that lies ahead.
“Callie... I love you so much. This is the best news.”
“I love you too. I’m so excited.”
“Are you feeling all right? Sure you want to walk? It’s pretty hot. We could just go and—”
“I’m fine.” I laugh. “Actually, the fresh air’s helping.”
“Can’t believe I didn’t notice.”
“It’s only been the last couple of days. I didn’t want to get your hopes up, in case it was nothing.”
He grins. “Well, we should make plans. Although... what should they be? I haven’t got a clue what we do next.”
“Me either. That’s part of the fun, I guess.”
“Should we Skype everyone? Tell them?”
I want to tell Joel.The thought is urgent and alarming, until suddenly I realize.
Joel already knows. He has done for years.
I think for you the best is yet to come.
“Callie?”
I ease Joel from my mind, squeeze Finn’s hand. “Let’s wait until we get home. I quite like the idea of this being our secret, just for a while.”
He smiles, puts an arm around my shoulders. “Well, we should celebrate, at least. What can you have—cake?”
I smile. “I’m still full from breakfast. And slightly nauseous, if I’m honest.”
“Is it weird?” Finn asks me, after a moment. “I mean, apart from the nausea... how do youfeel?”
