“What if we’re not alone?”
“What are you asking, Aspen?” He stiffens at my back.
“Do you enjoy threesomes? Or having sex in front of people at the club?”
“We’re back on this again. Nothing that came before us matters.”
“I’m not asking for you. I’m asking for me.”
“I enjoy watching. I’ve watched other men fuck my submissives. I’ve also fucked in front of others. Entire rooms. Does that scare you?”
“I’m not scared of you, Ry. I’m scared of what I might want with you.”
“I would never let anything happen that you didn’t want, baby girl. You have to know that.”
“I do.” I lean back against his chest, safe in the knowledge that I can explore my sexuality with Ryder. It’s not something I’ve ever contemplated, but with him, I think I want to.
Chapter 14
RYDER
It feels like yesterday that Flex suggested I open my next location here at the club, but I’ve put a lot of work into getting Aspen ready for this challenge. She’s going to be amazing. I could see her nervousness when she arrived today, but I know she’ll be great once we’re up and running.
All of my friends are here in support of Rooftop and the club we’ve all come to know and love. This place feels like a home away from home, and as much as I love what Aspen and I are building right now, I fucking miss Venom. Not just a drink in the bar. I still hang out and talk with everyone. I miss the punishment. The pleasure I derive from pushing a woman to the edge of pain before making her feel so fucking good she can’t remember her name.
I promised Aspen that I would entertain the idea of showing her my private room after the opening, but there’s a part of me that is fucking terrified to show her too much of who I am. Who I was before I met her.
Aspen is always on my mind. Whatever I’m doing, wherever I am, I want her with me. I want to experience life with her. But—and it’s a big but—I can’t get past the idea of bringing her intothe lifestyle. As much as I love kink, I can look back objectively and say that I was pulled into it by someone who should have known better. I was nineteen. Would I change it? No. Does it color how I see my situation with Aspen right now? Yes.
The parallels are easy to draw. I’m the one in the driver’s seat here. I am the mentor, and I’ve already blurred that line by acting on my feelings for her. She had no desire to find out about kink before she met me. Can I really be that selfish? To give her a taste of Venom?
She’s eager. Inquisitive. And I know if I do this, she’ll be a fucking perfect submissive, but she can’t do it just for me. It doesn’t sit easy in my chest. At the same time, Iwanther in my private room more than my next breath.
I know if Aspen keeps asking, Iwillcave in at some point. It’s only a matter of time. I need to know that what we have is endgame. Until I know if I’m in love with this woman, I will not entertain the idea of making her my submissive. When I do, we’re doing the whole nine yards.
Submissive. Collar. Wife. Maybe even a mother someday.
Am I crazy for thinking I could have it all? Seeing what it is to have Aspen in my home, in my bed, and in my kitchen, I want to share so much more with her.
I shove it to the back of my mind to focus on tonight. This opening needs to be a success. I’ve had plenty of career highlights already, but this is a big night for Aspen. I want it to be perfect.
Eli appears at the bar, carrying crates of wine.
“It looks incredible up here, bro. I’m so psyched for you.”
“Thanks, Eli. The nerves are kicking in.”
“That’s why I’m working up here tonight. I’m going to man the bar for Rooftop.” A sigh of relief escapes me, even though I hadn’t given it much thought. Having a friend and manager ofVenom up here gives me peace of mind. Eli can handle whatever issues may come up.
When he sets the crates down, I give him a bro hug and a slap on the back.
“That’s amazing. Thank you.”
“Why are you nervous? This place looks incredible, and we know you have the chops in the kitchen. You’re a freaking Michelin Star chef.”
“I want everything to run smoothly. Flex and the others have given me a stake in Venom with this restaurant. I don’t want to let them down. And I want tonight to be perfect for Aspen. She’s really worked her ass off the past few months. Being a sous chef is a big step, but I know she’s ready for it.”
“How are things going with you two? You’re dating, right?”
