“Tell that to my heart! Because every time you bring this up, I feel like it’s being ripped from my chest. I don’t know how many times I need to tell you that I’m not okay with you being an escort. It hurts. A physical pain in my chest at the thought of another man staking his claim on you. Sex or not.”
“Then why am I your submissive?”
“I don’t know. Maybe that’s the problem. Lock the door on your way out.”
I grab my shoes, wallet, keys, and head for the door.
“So that’s it? Are you really just going to leave in the middle of a discussion?”
I turn on my heel, pinning her with my steely gaze. “It’s not a discussion. It’s not a democracy. You decide how shit is going to be, and I’m done pussyfooting around. I’m a goddamn Dominant.”
“I’m not your twenty-four-seven.”
“Don’t I fucking know it! You remind me every chance you get. You can’t fucking cuckhold me, Aspen. If you’re not willing to consider how this makes me feel, then there’s nothing to talk about because I won’t fucking share you with some sleaze whobuysyou.”
“Fine! I’ll be at my own apartment when you get your head out of your ass.”
“Great.” I storm out, hating myself for being unable to have a calm conversation about this, but at the end of the day, no amount of acquiescing to her is going to change it. I love Aspen, but I won’t change who I am to be with her. I tried that, and it almost broke me. It’s a fucking double standard. She became a submissive for me, but I’m never going to be okay with her choice to remain an escort, even if it’s just one last time.
I don’t even know where the hell I’m going. I don’t need to be at the restaurant until later, and Aspen and I are working together tonight. It’s going to be a clusterfuck. We’ve only been living together for two months, and already we’re storming out on each other. This is not how I conduct myself as a Dominant. I need the parameters to be clear and crisp, and the longer we’re together, the murkier they become.
I wander the streets of Manhattan for a few hours, deciding how we move forward from here. I won’t have her taking money from other men. She’s mine. By the time I head to Venom, I know what needs to be done, and I don’t think Aspen is going to take it well.
She’s already in her chef’s whites by the time I arrive, her head down with a pissed-off vibe radiating off her in waves.
“Is this going to be an issue tonight, or can you leave our personal life at home?”
“You’ve got some nerve. I asked you to separate the two earlier today, and you made it apparent that there was no way it was possible. You can’t just pick and choose what suits you.”
“It’s different, and you fucking know it.”
“Then no. I can’t separate them either. I’m going to stay with Jude for a few days.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. We don’t want the same things.”
“Yes, we do, but you’re not letting me be the man I was born to be. I’m a Dominant, Aspen. It isn’t easy for me to be questioned at every turn. I need a submissive who wants to build a life with me.”
“I do want to build a life with you, Ryder! I think I’ve made some big concessions for you, but you can’t meet me halfway. You say you love me, but you want me to change to fit in whatever space you grant me. That’s not love, Ry.”
“I love you! I love you so much it’s a physical pain in my chest.”
“It’s not supposed to hurt.” Her words slam into me like a brick wall.
“I think it’s best if we both take a few days to calm down.” She’s actually leaving.
“When you figure out what you want, maybe I’ll still be here.”
“Maybe?”
“I tried to give you normal. I’ve tried to ease you into the lifestyle. I asked you to move in with me. How many other ways do I need to show you what you mean to me?”
“Allowing me to make my own decisions. I’ve earned that.”
“Earned what? Your decision to be a fucking escort. I’m glad other men paying you to be with them is the hill you want to die on. Fuck me, Aspen. I don’t know why you don’t see the problem here. You go and take whatever time you need. I’ll find a sub who actually wants to be with me, as I am, a Dominant man.”
“Wow, you’re going straight to replacing me. You’re right. How could Inotsee how much you love me? You’re fucking full of shit, Ryder Stevens. You don’t want a partner. You want a pet to sit and obey.”
