I take a deep breath, then several more, trying to get my bearings.Javi gives me time, watching me patiently.His calm unnerves me.
“We never did anything, you know,” I say.“She never even hinted at anything.She was loyal to Doug.”
Javi nods.“I know.”
“Fuck!”I throw my head back until it hits the backrest.“I can’t believe everyone knew.”
“Hey.”Javi reaches out and slaps me on the shoulder.“Don’t worry about it too much.People have lab crushes all the time.And for what it’s worth, I’ve always thought there’s something there.”
I put my head in my hands.“It wasn’t a crush.She’s ...she’s my soulmate.”
Javi sighs, long and deep, like my misery is a huge annoyance.“Look,” he says, “I can’t believe you’re into this whole soulmate business, but if that’s how you feel, you should go for it.”
“How?I live in Philly, she lives in Raleigh.”
“Pfft.”He waves me off.“You could move.Or she could.”
In the corner of my eye, I see Edie and Billie coming back from the restroom.
“Just go for it,” Javi insists.“She likes you.I’m sure she does.This is your chance; you might not get another one.She won’t be single for long.”
Billie and Edie don’t make it all the way back, but instead stop by a neighboring table to chat with people we all know from another lab.As Billie smiles and shakes hands, I take in her form.She’s really grown into herself, looking polished in a jacket over a nice fitted dress.Back when I knew her, she wore a lab coat over baggy clothes.She kept herself hidden, yet I still wanted her, all of her parts that I could see—her perfect skin, her quick smile, her long slender fingers, the shell of her ear that I spent a ridiculous amount of time imagining myself running my tongue over.But now I see a grownup Billie, with wide hips and strong calves, the muscles taut and shapely as she stands tall in leather pumps.She’s elegant and confident, so different from the girl I used to know...
Then her eyes dart to me and I recognize her—it’s her face,my Billie’sface.I don’t know what she sees in my expression, but she loses the easy smile.Her eyes widen as emotions flicker on the canvas of her skin, a faint blush tinting her cheeks.
She’s not immune to me.Iknowit.I always have.And now I know she knows it, too.
I’ve waited long enough.I won’t wait anymore.
I leap off my seat.
“Dude,” Javi mutters, “I didn’t mean go for it right this instant.Don’t make a scene.”
“I won’t make a scene.I’m just going to talk to one of my former labmates.”
“The one everyone knows you’ve always had a giant boner for.”
“If everyone knows, then this won’t be a surprise.”I roll my shoulders like a boxer before a fight.“Wish me luck.”
Javi chuckles and gives me a fist bump.
