“Yeah. A bit.”
“I think…” I kiss his shoulder again. “It all seemed right. I can’t imagine all those pathways lining up like they did if it wasn’t.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s… It’s not just that.”
Here it comes. The reality of us. And the irony isn’t lost on me, that we’ve been trying so hard to get reality back in place, all the while living in a fantasy.
How long has he been awake, thinking this over?
I give him time to work up to whatever he wants to say, to get his thoughts straight. And I give him time because I don’t want to hear it. I want to go back to sleep, curled up with him, and never hear whatever it is.
But I gave him my heart, and now it’s his to break. If that’s what he needs to do, I’ll understand. After all, what kind of shitty boyfriend does the damage I did? The damage he almost died fixing.
“I love you.” His voice breaks when he says it, drawing my eyes just in time to see a tear slide down to the pillow.
“Why are you crying?” When I touch his face, he rolls over towards me, shrinking into me. I want to wring it all out of him, whatever sadness is cutting him off from me. But all I can do is put my arms around him and hold him close.
His head’s sunk against my chest. I stroke his hair until he’s calmer. Until he says, “If you have to go…” and drifts off there.
I thrust the bedcovers back, reaching for his chin to make him look at me. “Are you serious right now?”
A bashful, typically August blush colours his cheeks, his eyes skittering away from me. “You’ll want to know, won’t you? That it’s all back?”
“I don’t care.”
He smiles a sad smile. “That’s very sweet of you to say, but I know you do.” Turning onto his front, his side pressed against me, “I know how sad you always were. And how hard you fought.And I can’t imagine you’d give up on all of it, that peace of mind…”
“You’re my peace of mind.” His head dips against my shoulder. “I told you that, and I meant it.”
“But what if something happens? You and me… How can we work this out? They said, the Augusts, it’s one thing being in the same world, but being together…” I can barely understand him when he buries his face in the pillow, but I do make out, “I don’t think I can keep my hands off you.”
“Is that what you’re worried about?” His head’s back against my chest, hiding his face. Christ, I love him. “August, look at me.”
“No. I think I’ll kiss you.”
“Then kiss me.”
“And what? Destroy this world we just fixed?”
“Kiss me.”
It takes a moment, and needs the guidance of my fingertips, but he raises his head, eyes closed, and drops a gentle kiss on my lips.
The spark is ever-present, gorgeous.
Until he pulls back.
“Do it again.”
“August…”
Pressing forward, kissing him, I keep him a little longer this time. Pleasing tingles tickle across our skin. I know he can feel it too. The kiss deepens, in his control now, his fingers scrunching into my arm.
“Oh my god, do you see?” He shoves me off and rolls over onto his back. “You’re impossible.”
I pursue him, catching him around the waist, kissing his neck. “That’s not what you said yesterday.”
He tilts his head to allow me access. “Yesterday we were five hundred years in the future.”
