Their moment of shared humour does not amuse me. “So you’re stuck here? We can’t get August back, and we can’t get you back?”
“Pretty much. He’s fucked his universe. We can’t get the fire back in that bottle. I came here to take him out, and then… it’s my plan to do the same thing to me.”
“What the fuck? A murder-suicide? Why are Augusts so suicidal?”
“It’s just clean-up,” says Assassin August, matter-of-factly. “He can’t stay in this universe.”
“Then find him a new one! You said you can detect them. Find him one. Send him there! Or better still, find one that wants two Augusts and send us both. You can have my spot.”
“August!” my August cries.
At the exact same time, Jon ejaculates, “You just met him!”
“He’sme!” I snap. “I’ve known him for as long as I’ve existed. He’s felt everything I’ve felt. All the happiness, all the sadness, all the pain, all the loneliness. And I know exactly how he’s feeling right now.”
August’s hand tightens around mine, while Jon flings an arm out at him. “You literally just discovered he’s a supervillain this morning!”
“Stop calling him that!”
“Isn’t he?”
“That’s just details!”
“Either way, it’s not possible to do what you’re asking,” Assassin August cuts back in. “There are infinite worlds. It’s all very well to notice which ones are bulging, look for the signatures of an August or two. There are signs there, something to latch onto. What you’re talking about is finding an August-free universe. It’s a stab in the dark. It could take… Well, it could take forever, in theory. It’s pretty much what he’s been doing. You might never find it. And all the time you spend looking, worlds will perish, one after another. I’m sorry, but his one life isn’t worth all of those.”
“It is.” The words are out before I can stop them.
“Who’s the supervillain now?” Jon prods.
“We’re the same person!” I snap.
“I think August’s made the problem clear,” says my August, and I hate the implication that I’m supposed to be sensible and accepting about this. “Slayer, there’s no way back. And there’s no way forward. Not without me destroying this world, and you with it. And I’m not going to do that.”
“You don’t get to decide my fate.”
“I already have. You’re not dying. Not by my hand.”
“Stop being so fucking noble!” I shout at him. “I don’t want to hear it. I want you to fix this. I mean, fuck! There aretwoof you. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? Physicist August meets physicist August, not useless whatever-the-hell-I-am August. Do it! Put your heads together! Fix it! Fix it, or…” I search the room, and with a flash of divine light, my hand lands on the gun. “Or no one’s leaving this room.”
“Or what?” August asks, eyes two deep and twinkling pools. “You’ll kill me?” It’s the saddest, sweetest smile I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
“No, my love. I’ll kneecap you. And I hear that really fucking hurts.”
Soft as a spring breeze, his smile deepens. “I’m your love?”
“You know you are.” Tears overflow, more tears than I’ve ever cried in my life, and I shove at them with my shoulder. “Please give it one more day. For me. Just one day. Please try.”
He shakes his head, clearly resigned to his stupid decision. “All my research is gone. I destroyed it. We’d spend a whole day trying to get it back up, and it probably wouldn’t even be correct.”
The boards against the wall mock me. White swirls on green paint—the key to everything. And nothing.
“Do you mean your maths?” Jon asks.
August’s eyelashes twitch at him like he can barely tolerate having to answer. “Yes. I mean my maths. Gone.”
He shrugs. “Nah, Shashi’s got it. The lot of it. She keeps texting me about it. Becauseyou’renot answering.” He raises his chin towards me, and that’s when I remember. She took photos of it the other night. She was so interested in it. But she wouldn’t explain why…
I snap the door open. “We need to go see Shashi.”
