“I owe you an apology,” Matt said at last, words so unexpected that Jason promptly tripped over his feet, and only Matt’s hand on his arm kept him upright.
“I didn’t realize at first how serious you were about him, and once I did, I thought the fact you were mates—I expected that to carry more weight.”
“Yeah,” Jason whispered, bitterness threading through him. “Me too.”
“I’m sorry,” Matt said. “I should have said something, told you I had doubts.”
Jason respected Matt, he was beyond grateful to him for so very much, and he liked him. In that moment, he realized thatlikewasn’t really a strong enough word. Matt was always steady, always looking after the entire pack. Like a seawall against the currents that might otherwise tear them away.
“No,” he said. “You trusted me.”
Matt saying something might have saved him from some hurt, but he’d have felt like a child who needed to be taken care of, unableto look after himself. Although that was true, Matt hadn’t made him feel that way. He’d given Jason space to make his own choices. He’drespectedJason, and that meant more than Matt would ever know.
He turned and faced Matt, searching what he could see of his face in the moonlight.
“Thank you,” he said. For everything, he meant, and he didn’t know if Matt understood that. Though from the way he inclined his head, he thought maybe he did.
He watched Matt head back toward the house, and then made his way to his room. Bryce had been right that the company of the rest of the pack had somehow eased the jagged edges of the hole in his heart. But the ache was still there. He needed to be alone to try to come to terms with what had happened.
And to stop picking at Riley’s words and hope that somehow he’d meant them. Because it didn’t matter even if Rileydidlove him. Jason could never love anyone who’d deliberately set out to deceive and betray his pack.
RILEY
Riley woke the next morning from the worst night’s sleep he could remember in a long time. It seemed the back seat of an Aveo was not made for people to sleep on comfortably.
He headed back into Elk Ridge in the early morning light. Leaving the car, he used the public restroom to make himself look vaguely decent. He thought about shaving, but the idea of standing in front of a grimy mirror, razor in hand, in a place that smelled like piss and cheap soap made his gut clench. He still couldn’t bring himself to let his beard grow—not after those photo shoots, not after everything he’d done to get the work—but he sure as hell wasn’t shavinghere.
Once he was done, he found a bench in the park from which to watch the town come slowly to life around him, and wondered what the hell he should do.
* * *
He was still sitting there three hours later. It would be easier to leave. That was what he always did, jettisoning his latest wreckage as he went. But something about Jason, about the weight of what he’d done, kept him anchored here.
He’d never seen himself as a bad person—just someone who’d made a few questionable choices. But the truth was uglier. He’d let desperation and longing sway him away from what heknewto be right. Told himself he had no choice, when really, every time, he’d made one. Even if that choice was to look away.
When someone sat down next to him, he jumped, so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t noticed anyone approach. And oh, shit—it wasn’t justanyonesitting there. It was Matt fucking Urban.
“If there’s no story, why are you still here?” he asked Riley, his eyes on a couple of yapping terriers playing Frisbee with their owner.
Riley unfroze when he realized he wasn’t about to get his throat torn out. At least, not here.
“Jason,” he said at last, reluctantly.
Urban said nothing.
They sat there long enough for one of the guys from the bar to walk past. Riley spotted the sideways look of distaste Lennox sent in Urban’s direction. He forgot it completely when Urban turned to look at him, that steady gaze somehow difficult to hold.
“You think hanging around’s going to make it easier on him?” Urban asked.
Damn. No, Riley hadn’t thought about that. Because Riley wasselfish.
“Shit,” he said, and his shoulders slumped. He didn’t want to do that to Jason. But he also wasn’t ready to walk away and know he’d never see Jason again.
“Guess that about covers it,” Urban agreed, and rose to his feet.
“I just want him to understand,” Riley burst out. “I didn’t know he was one of your pack, not at first. It was never about that with him.”
Urban raised an eyebrow as he looked Riley up and down, and Riley couldn’t help but wonder if Urban could scent lies the way Dave could detect spilled fruit tea. He hoped so, because then he’d know that Riley was telling the truth. Thinking about the unholy fuckup he’d been responsible for made Riley realize Jason wasn’t the only one he owed an apology to.
