“Uh, yeah,” Jason stumbled, not knowing how to answer that. “I just wanted a break.”
“You seem to spend half your life in the kitchen,” Dave said. “If it’s too much, just say the word, and we’ll figure something out.”
Had he been talking to Matt? No, he wouldn’t have had time, but what he was saying was almost word for word what Matt had said.
“It’s fine,” Jason said, and suddenly he had a new worry—that the pack would decideforhim that he was no longer going to cook. He’d better head that one off at the pass damn quick. “Anyway, who else would do it if I didn’t?”
“I could,” Dave offered. “I mean, it wouldn’t be up to your standards, but I could give it a shot while the others learn.”
It stung, even though he knew Dave hadn’t meant to imply that just anyone could step in and fill the gap he left. “Don’t think Christian would be too happy eating vegan for the duration,” Jason said, and maybe it came out a little sulkily.
“It was Christian’s idea, if you need a break,” Dave confessed, blue eyes steady on Jason’s. “He was worried about you. We both are. Is something wrong?”
Jason froze. Christian was worried about him? Christian, who never hesitated to make a joke at anyone’s expense. Who growled at people more than he spoke. Who scarcely seemed to notice Jason existed.
It was one thing for Matt to check in. He was the alpha. It was his job. But this? A tendril of warmth licked up inside Jason.
“Thanks, but I’m okay, honestly. I seriously just wanted a day off.”
Dave stood, loose and relaxed once more, the way he usually was. “Tristan’s talked us into watching that show he won’t shut up about if you want to come over to the house,” he said.
Jason rarely went to the house in the evening. And now, he realized he didn’t know why. Or maybe he did. Maybe it was easier to be needed than to just… be.
“If you don’t, I figure you’re going to spend the entire evening opening your door to people,” Dave continued. “I saw Bryce lurking under the picnic tree, probably waiting for me to leave, and Jesse was very busy doing absolutely nothing on the porch. In the dark.”
Jason shook his head, but he was smiling. They were checking on him. All of them. Hispack.Maybe he really had needed a break—not from cooking, but from himself.Seemedhewas the one getting in his own way.
“Okay,” he said, standing and shoving his phone in his pocket. “Let’s hope Tristan’s picked something that’s actually good.”
Dave grinned. “Oh, don’t worry—we won’t let him forget it if he hasn’t.”
Jason followed him out into the cool night air. Light from the kitchen window spilled across the porch where Jesse was loitering suspiciously. Jason snorted to himself at how obvious he was. Theyallwere. So ready to circle around him.
And then it struck him, sharp and accusing—he’d been wondering what they thought of him, but did they have any idea how much he cared for each and every one of them? Somewhere along the way, he’d gotten so focused on worrying about his place here, he’d forgotten to give anything back, except duty.
He drew a breath and nudged Jesse as he passed him on the porch. “That was some world-class lurking.”
“Just checking for chickens,” Jesse said, and Jason snorted. Jesse’s ongoing feud with them was a matter of pride to him and confusion to everyone else.
As Jason walked into the house, he found he was smiling.
Chapter Nineteen
JASON
After coming in at dawn from patrolling, Jason had slept for a few hours. His sleep hadn’t been entirely restful because he was still twisted up inside from yesterday’s realizations. Now he’d worked things out with the pack, he was kind of mad at himself that one innocent question from Jesse weeks ago had caused him to spiral so badly. But it probably meant he’d never really dealt with his anxiety over belonging. Otherwise, the question wouldn’t have unsettled him.
He was also struggling with the fact Riley was about to meet the pack. It should be a long, lazy afternoon enjoying the tail end of summer, but he couldn’t stop worrying—what if Riley hated the pack? What if they hated Riley? What if Dave made Riley drink fruit tea, and Jesse ate all the ribs? His fears tangled together in a kaleidoscopic nightmare, all underlain by the relentless ticking of a clock.
When he finally woke up, he got straight out of bed. No way was he going to try and sleep again, not with those fears waiting for him. Especially the clock. He’d done so well at ignoring the fact Riley was only here for a short time.
Desperate to be distracted from that fact, he took a quick shower and headed to town. He had both Fridays and Saturdays off from the diner, so he and Riley had planned to meet for breakfast. But as Jason was early, he headed to the motel.
Once there, he wasveryglad he had, because Riley was still in bed. And this was the sort of being in bed that didn’t involve sleep or nightmares, and Jason wished he and Riley could share a bed always.
* * *
Much later, they headed to the diner for a late breakfast, where they were met with a harried smile from Sam.
