Swallowing, I nod in understanding. The Senator is asking me to do the impossible, to tear my soul in half willingly, but fuck if I won’t do it so that Roman can survive. I just hopeit’s true that he’ll forgive me…and that those who love him can forgive me as well.
A gunshot rings out and I jump, whirling around to stare at the Senator. My friend’s exclamation terrifies me, but thank fuck it appears to have been a warning shot and nothing more. Still, my heart is lodged in my throat.
“Get to work, or the next bullet goes in him. And make it good. If I think you’re taking it easy on the fag, I’ll step in. I think you know that won’t be a good idea.”
“You really need to come up with new insults,” Roman mutters, and for a moment, I freeze, worried another bullet will go into him, but the Senator ignores him, waving me on instead.
Trudging back to the setup of tools, I let my eyes drift over the options. I have to strike a delicate balance between hurting my friend without harming him permanently. Fuck. The art of torture is complex, and one I normally excel at. But this? This puts even my artistry to the test.
I grab the pliers and turn toward our asshole captive. “Do you have something like push pins? Or sewing needles? Maybe safety pins?”
“Why the fuck would I have something like that?” He stares at me in disgust, and I try to rein in my temper.
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe you actually do things on your own? Or, hell, know anything about torture.” I shake my head, frustrated. “Torture is more than having stylish tools. Even the most common instruments can be used to cause maximum pain. For instance, if I pry off his nails and use even a toothpick on the exposed beds, he’ll be in excruciating pain.”
Instead of looking appalled, as I’d hoped, he merely seems more intrigued. Turning, he looks at one of the guards. Maybe this will buy me time…
“Mickey will have toothpicks,” the man says.
Grunting, the Senator gestures at him, and the guard moves a walkie to his face, murmuring into it. I ignore the sound of it, trying to handle the emotions crashing inside me.Fucking feelings. Reaching deep inside, to the lessons fucking Luca taught me on skinning, I empty my mind. It’s the only way I’m going to get through this.
“Well, you can at least get started.” The Senator prods me and I walk forward, glancing at the camera, the red dot reminding me that this is all being recorded.
I can’t push any words past my throat, but I try to convey my sorrow to Roman. His slight nod gives me the courage to close the distance between us. I kneel down and unlace his shoe, before sliding off his sock. It’ll hurt more using his feet, but at least it won’t impair his ability to grip things later.
Opening the pliers, I arrange it carefully to grip his nail. Taking a deep breath, I mentally say a prayer and then pull up quickly, tearing it off with one savage motion. It’s a clean pull, and thank fuck for that.
Roman’s bloodcurdling scream reaches in and squeezes my heart so tightly that, for a moment, dizziness swamps me. I shake my head, trying to steady myself. I wish those fucking toothpicks were here already, because without them, I’m forced to move onto the next toe. I repeat the motion again and again until three toenails are gone.
“Here.” Toothpicks are thrust at me and I breathe a sigh of relief, glad to be done with tearing off his nails. At least, for now. But this part? This is going to hurt a hell of a lot. From the way Roman cringes, he knows it will too.
My hands fumble as I try to grab one, and several fall to the ground. I take a moment to force myself to breathe, to steady myself. Only then do I grasp one. Holding it between my fingers, I glance up at Roman, and once again, beg him wordlessly tounderstand, to forgive me, even though I know in my heart I will never forgive myself.
Tears have ravaged his face, but he’s still as beautiful as ever. With one simple poke of a toothpick, I destroy myself. Again. And again, I do it. Forcing pain onto someone I love. Hatred like nothing I’ve ever experienced boils inside me, taunting me, telling me exactly how worthless I am.
Fuck. It’s bad enough I raped a stranger, but this? The utter destruction of the bond between my stabby soulmate and me…I can’t survive it. I don’t want to. All I can wish is that I was dead. That I could be buried and never thought of again. Because I don’t even deserve the energy of cursing my name…
“Fuck!” I’m startled out of my living nightmare by the Senator’s curse, and I quickly discard the toothpick I’m holding, nausea from my very existence making me sweat.
“I’m sorry, sir,” the guard says carefully.
“It’s not on you. If they’ve captured my worthless daughter, they can have her. Children. Fucking useless. At least, neither of them will be a problem for me any longer. But we need to implement our exit strategy. Get the explosives ready. Unlike me, they’re idiotic enough to actually lead a rescue charge. Hell, maybe Cecily did us all a favor. We can kill them all off in one swoop.” He turns his cold glare on me, and my skin crawls from it. “Then go lock these two up again. I’d kill them now, but I think I’d prefer knowing they’re burning to a crisp while desperately waiting for a rescue that will never happen…”
As soon as I’m grabbed by the guard, the Senator turns and storms off. I fight against his hold, only to end up being hit in the head over it. For a moment, there’s only darkness, but it passes quickly, since I’m awake when I’m dragged into our concrete room and cuffed.
Fuck. I look for a way out as they carry Roman in. He's unable to bear any weight on his foot right now. I swallow downbile as he’s unceremoniously dumped onto the hard ground and locked in. Fuck. We are so screwed. Both guards take off at a mad dash, and we’re left there alone.
“Well, Amico Mio, I’m not sure how we’re getting out of this one,” Roman says between ragged breaths, sweat still pouring off him from what I did.
Clenching my hands into tight fists, I keep my gaze down, unable to look at him. The only thing I can offer him is the one thing I know for certain. “Our men will come. And there’s no explosion that can hold them back. You just need to stay alive until then.”
“We, Amico Mio.We.”
I don’t say anything back. I can’t. Words are useless, because I know the truth. I should stay here and burn to ashes. I will never be able to face those I love. I’ll never be able to accept living free after what I’ve done. No, it’s better if I end here, where my dreams came crashing down, and the sins stained my soul.
But Roman? Roman needs to live… And I’ll do whatever I can to make sure he’s the one that makes it out.
The sitting/meeting room is bursting at the seams with people. It’s all hands on deck for rescuing our Bosses—aside from Allesandro and Benjamin, at least, though I can’t say I miss either of them. I need to speak to both of them before I allow them near my Cucciolo again. Though…maybe I need to speak with Cristian too, because I have no idea how Roman is going to react with his father here.
