“You just have to listen to me, that's all. Come on, Bello.”
He sobs, but I manage to get him upright and then scoop him up, carrying him to the bed. I lay him down and climb on behind him. Pulling him into my lap, I lay back against the headboard and hold my Boy close while he shakes and cries in my arms.
The bedroom door opens and the twins walk in carrying a tray full of water, a few snacks, and an ice pack.
“Thank you,” I tell them softly, once more wishing I didn't have to voice, but getting over it. “Leave it there and wait for me to call you.”
They look at Antonio in my arms, concern in their hazel eyes.
“He's okay. But we're not finished yet. I promise, you can help me finish his aftercare.”
They nod and kiss me first, and then what they can reach of Antonio, letting him know they're here for him, before leaving quietly.
It's awkward, but I manage to get the ice pack on the worst of his welts and bruises, to help with the swelling. I'll rub cream on him in a little bit, but for such a harsh punishment, I want to try as many relief avenues as possible.
Antonio moans, but I shush him and hold the ice pack in place until I'm sure he's not going to buck it off.
Reaching over, I grab one of the waters and open it before tugging at his hair, forcing him to lift his head and take a few small sips. When he's finished, I take my own much-needed drink.
“Hungry?” I ask.
He shakes his head. I figured, since the endorphins will still be taking him for a ride, but I'll be careful to watch for a crash.
He licks his lips and I give him more water. When he's done, I set it aside and run my fingers through his sweaty hair.
“Why'd you stop?” he asks, almost too quietly. Giving his hair a tug, he grimaces. “Sorry, Sir.” He clears his throat. “Why did you stop?”
I sigh and move my hand from his hair to run my fingers down his face. “Because I was punishing you, so you'd stop punishing yourself and everyone around you. I'll strip you down to nothing anytime you need, Bello. But I will not hurt you beyond either of our comprehension. Understand?”
His beautiful brown eyes fill with tears. “I understand, Sir.” His lip trembles as he asks, “Why did he abandon me?”
My heart aches for him. “Who, Bello?”
“Marcus… Allesandro…take your pick. They both chose other people, other paths, that led them away from me. Allesandro…he was my Master. He saved me from life on the streets, from…” He chokes on his words, barely able to say, “He showed me I was more than amattress.”
Leaning over, I press a firm kiss to his mouth, hoping he feels my love for him.
“Allessandro…he got lost. He and Cristian both. I wish I could say I understand why or how, but I don't. None of us do. Only he can answer that, and I'm not sure even he fully knows. You don't have to like it, or him, but whether he lives or dies isn't up to you, Bello. I don't like it either. Knowing what I do of Hollis’s past…of yours…I want nothing more than to shove a knife through his heart, but I can't, because it's not my choice. It's not anyone but the Council's decision. You don't have to agree with it, but this is the path you chose.”
He sighs and nods before sneering, “Marcus…he chose Carter over me. And now, today…he chose Allesandro.”
I shake my head, brushing my fingers along his cheek again. “He chose the man he loved and respected, same as you. You could have chosen Roman or Carter. Why did you choose Lio?”
“Because it was the right thing to do. He needed more than fucking Benjamin on his side. And…I am loyal. I am—was—loyal to the Martellis. Emilio and I are friends. I never would have left him like they left me.”
“Marcus didn't leave you, Bello. He followed his heart, much like you followed yours. You were worried about being apart from me, but you knew you needed to be with Lio, too. Remember?
“It wasn't until Roman reassured you that we'd all be in the same place, that you were truly able to relax. This is the same thing. Marcus is still here, still your best friend, and nothing will ever change that.
“No matter which Boss you follow. And…with the Council, that doesn't matter, does it? Carter is the only Boss right now, and we're all following his orders. So, it doesn't matter who is in what pecking order for who, we're all a family.”
He swallows and the dam finally breaks, tears cascading down his cheeks. “I don't think Marcus is my best friend anymore. I fucked up… I fucked up so hard. I…oh, fucking fuck, I said those things about Cole and Amy…”
“Shhh.” Using both hands, I wipe the tears from his face. “Yes, you fucked up, and you'll have to get on your knees and beg for his forgiveness, but I will help you, if you trust me to.”
He nods. “I do. I trust you with my life, Sir. I love you.”
I smile a little. “I love you too, Bello.”
