“No,” I tell him without looking away from my monitor. “I need…I need to do this.”
On screen, a young man is tied to a bed, and when the door to the room opens and Emilio walks in, a sickening twist to my stomach threatens to bring up the food I’d recently eaten.
“You don’t need to do this.”
I shake my head as Lio places a hand on his chest before the asshole in the room with him snaps and he drops it.
“You’ll take me. You don’t have any other option,”he tells the boy on the bed. It’s his voice, but…not. There’s pain there, laced with desire, and I know from his actions and reactions that he doesn’t want to be there. The view isn’t the best—whoever setup the camera must have been an amateur—but I can clearly see the erection straining my Boy’s pants.
Tears burn my eyes, and I have to take a few breaths as I remove my glasses to wipe them. Still, I keep watching. Through every moment in which Lio preps the boy for his cock, every hesitation, every pleading word from the boy on the bed…and every thrust of my Puppy’s cock when he finally sinks into the sobbing young man.
I’m barely able to push my chair back and reach for the small trash can under the desk before I’m vomiting into it. The acid burns my throat and I cough, fluid running out of my nose as well, as I dry heave a few times.
The sounds of the boy’s sobs…the sight of my Puppy thrusting into him…the feel of dry, rough, and cold hands on my skin…Emilio’s careful ministrations as he tries not to hurt the boy he’s forced to use…a soft, clean dick being pressed between my lips, my vision blurring due to tears as I take it into my mouth for the first time ever…the boy’s pleas and cries…being locked in a small, cold room for days on end, for an infraction that I’m not even sure is real…
The past and present blur together, and my entire being feels as if I’m being torn apart.
I swear, my scars burn, and I drop the trash can to shove at my sleeve, desperate to touch the rough skin. The scars that are no longer fresh, but are still raised and ugly because they’re new.
Lio’s resistance, his hesitation, his hard cock…none of that adds up, but it’s impossible not to see how turned on he was as he took that boy for himself.My poor Emilio…what did they do to you?
The human body is a lot of things, and most of its functions are involuntary, but I know Lio, I know his heart… As appealing as a hot, tight naked body might be…there’s no way he would have been able to get hard under those circumstances.
Mr. Thommilson kisses me. My second ever kiss. His lips are dry and cold, though his tongue is warm, and I welcome it, too nervous and terrified to disobey. He’s told me stories for weeks now, of the type of man he is, of what he liked to do to his precious “dolls”... He might be old, and way past his prime now, but I know better than to underestimate him.
“You’re so sweet, Dayton,” he whispers. “I can’t wait to make you mine.” He presses against me, his cock hard against my hip. I whimper when he presses our mouths together again, and that seems to spur him on, as he kisses me harder.
I know the type of people who get off on the unwilling. And that isn’t Lio. The beautiful, broken boy who trusts me to love him, the vulnerable Puppy who wants affection and to be put in his place all at once, and the young, sweet man who calls me Angel and Tennant Daddy… Nothing about him has the makings ofthattype of person. Not after everything he’s been through.
Lio takes the boy’s cock into his mouth as he fingers him. The cries turn to moans and gaspsand I shake so hard I tumble out of my chair, scrambling for the trash can once more.
Gerald Bradley gives me a new hand mixer, and then bends me over the kitchen counter as payment for his generous gift.
Sobbing, I close my eyes, as if that will shut off the images and memories. My nightmares have come back to life, and this time…they might win.
Pain…sweet pain courses through me. My nails digging into the still-raised scars on my wrist bring me relief.
Emilio fucks into the boy under him, his need clear in every movement, even if his words say the opposite.My heart breaks at the thought of what he was forced to do, the impossible choice he had to make.
He’ll need me…
Will he though? Will he need a broken Owner? One who can’t even suffer with him without breaking down?
You’ll fail him. You’re not good enough to help him through this, because you can’t even handle your own pain. He’ll suffer because you’re not strong enough.
Getting my knife out is hard because of the way I’m curled over, but I manage. The blade cuts into my skin the same way Gerald cut into my sense of self all those years ago.
My poor Lio…poor Roman. At least, they have each other to work through this.
I cut deeper into my skin, but suddenly, I’m stopped. Hands, strong and firm and unforgiving, grab both of mine.
I’m forced to release the knife, lest I cut him. For several long moments, we stay like that, my hands in his, until I’m finally able to blink away the tears and look into Jude’s pale green eyes.
“It’s okay, Hol,” he says. “You’ll be okay.”
I shake my head. “No…” I have no idea if I actually say the word or not. “I…can’t… Lio…”
“It’s okay, Tesoro Mio. I have you now.”
