And I do. I tell him all the things we talked about, the future, and what their plans are for being a professional team now. It all comes out like a fever dream.
“Sounds perfect, man.”
“It does,” I say, and remember the one part that might make it less perfect.
“But you don’t sound convinced?”
I take a breath and let it go. “I want this so much, but I’m also aware that I’ve got feelings for Liv, too.” The truth is, nothing is set in stone yet. It’s all hypotheticals, and there’s no point in worrying, but there’s a kernel of fear that keeps popping in my stomach because what if things don’t work out with us? What does us even look like if I get the job?
“Let’s take it one step at a time, before you go spiraling into fixing something,” Hudson says, then we’re interrupted by the shrill cry of his baby girl, Rosie. “Listen, I gotta bounce, but call me tomorrow?”
“Will do.”
We hang up, and I open the message thread with Liv and text her, telling her to call me when she gets home, because I need to hear her voice. I miss her.
Chapter forty-eight
Liv
Iwipeatmyface, unsure what’s rain and what’s tears, but keep walking. My feet take me to the only person who’s ever made sense when everything else doesn’t.
When Daphne opens her door, she takes one look at me and doesn’t ask a single question. She just pulls me in, arms tight, the smell of baby powder and coffee wrapping around me like a blanket.
My heart leaps into my throat as she holds me and doesn’t let go. I cry into her shoulder and don’t stop until she carefully moves us inside her apartment, closing the door behind me.
Hudson’s on the couch, Rosie asleep against his chest, a movie paused on the screen. He shifts upright, eyes scanning me, cautious. “Everything okay, Liv?”
The laugh that escapes sounds foreign, cracked, as I wipe my eyes. “Not really.”
Daphne steers me to a chair. “What’s wrong?”
I tell them everything. How Rhys was there today. How Bethany was his daughter, and I’d spent all day with her.Howevery ounce of progress I thought I’d made disappeared in a heartbeat. I’d promised myself that wouldn’t happen, and yet one encounter with him, and I lost all control.
Daphne’s face tightens, outrage flickering under her calm. “Did he even say anything? Like an apology?”
I shake my head. “No. And the worst part is, I don’t think I care. I thought I would, thought I needed to hear it on some level, but I don’t.”
She blinks. “You don’t?”
I rub my palms against my jeans, grounding myself. “I don’t want anything from him. Not an apology. Not closure. Nothing. Because all of that would still give him space in my life, and I’m done letting him have that. I spent so long carrying it,” I say quietly. “The guilt, the what-ifs, the version of me that let it all happen. But I don’t feel that anymore. I don’t feel anything for him. And that’s… relief, I guess.”
Daphne squeezes my hand, her thumb moving in small circles. “I’m so proud of you.”
I exhale, my shoulders finally dropping. “I just don’t want him anywhere near the life I’m building now. I changed my number when I moved here. I’ve already blocked Bethany. That whole part of my life is… gone.”
He doesn’t get to ruin anything else for me. Not when I finally feel like myself again. Not when I finally feel safe.
Daphne smiles, quiet but proud. “That’s my girl.”
I let out a shaky laugh, pressing my palms together. “About time, right?”
“About time,” she echoes.
***
When I finally leave their place, my Uber is waiting, and I dash inside to avoid the rain. There’s no storm tonight, but the air feels alive with ions all the same, and a part of me wonders if I should’ve walked and let it rinse the rest of the day off me.
When I get home, though, I’m greeted by the sound of my sleepy kitty. “Hello, Mr. Fury kitty,” I murmur, bending to scoop him up. He blinks up at me, all half-lidded contentment, and purrs as soon as I scratch under his chin. “You’re the best boy, you know that?”
