Her smile crinkles the corners of her eyes. “You’ve been lighter lately. Like you finally remembered you’re allowed to be happy.”
That makes my chest ache in a way that’s both terrifying and kind of wonderful because she’s seen all of my ups and downs. Iguess maybe he has reminded me that not everyone is going to hurt me. I hope to hell he doesn’t.
Daphne’s eyes narrow like she can read every thought in my head. “Don’t overcomplicate this, Liv. He’s not that guy. You know that.”
“I don’t know anything,” I mutter into my hands. The truth is, maybe I just don’t want to admit that with him I feel… different. Safe. He listens when I talk and remembers the smallest, stupidest things. He’s more talented than he’ll ever admit, and lately, he’s the one who makes me laugh when I want to cry. In fact, there have been very few sad tears, and I know it’s because of him.
“Yes, you do.” She bumps my shoulder with hers. “You know Jay. You’ve known him long enough to trust what you’re feeling. And from where I’m standing? It looks good on you.”
Heat creeps into my cheeks all over again, but this time I don’t fight it. “You’re really not mad?”
She huffs. “Mad? Please. Why do you think I suggested you live with him? I’ve been waiting for one of you to crack since the day you moved in. Honestly, I’m just impressed you lasted this long.”
I groan, covering my face again, realizing I’ve been played, but I can’t be mad about it. “Oh my god.”
“Don’t ‘oh my god’ me,” she laughs. “Now, help me with these potatoes.”
***
By the time Daphne sends me out with a tray of rolls, it’s like my skin doesn’t quite fit. She knows. My best friend knows, and she’shappy for me, but now it feels like there’s a neon sign blinking above my head every time I look at Jay.
So when I catch him heading down the hall a little later, I follow.
“Jay,” I hiss, slipping inside the bathroom behind him before he can shut the door.
He startles, turning toward me. “Are you okay?”
I press my back to the door like I’m barricading us in, chest heaving with adrenaline. “Daphne knows.”
His brow furrows, then smooths. “Okay.”
“Okay?” My voice pitches higher. “That’sit?”
Jay chuckles. “Well, are you in danger? No. Did she say anything bad? No. Then yeah—okay.”
I gape at him. “You’re not… worried?”
He shakes his head. “Why would I be worried?”
My arms do that flapping thing again. “Because!”
He steps in closer, too close for me to form a rational thought when he looks so damn sexy in his glasses, his hair falling a little longer since I moved in, and I like it. “You think I’m worried about people calling you mine?”
A thickness settles in my throat. “N-no…” I pause, and his brow arches. “Maybe. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to be with me because of circumstance. I’ll still be your roommate if you want that instead.”
His nostrils flare slightly. When I don’t answer, I’m hoping he understands all the things I’m too cowardly to voice out loud, things I’ve laid out for him before but can’t quite bring myself to say now. “Do you want to be just my roommate again?”
I swallow hard. “I don’t, but I’m—”
He takes the last step between us, bracing one palm flat against the door beside my head, engulfing me in the heat radiating from his body. “Liv,” he says quietly. “I’m here because I want to be.”
My heart misses a beat. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” He tilts his head, eyes searching mine. “You’re not a habit I tripped into. You’re the one I pay attention to.”
I laugh, but it’s shaky. The thrum in my body increases, then, when his hand reaches to cup my face, everything slows. My heart clings to the rhythm of his pulse, calming me instantly. “You’re ruining my panic.”
“Good.” His mouth curves, and his thumb brushes back and forth over my cheek. “Stay here with me for a second, make out with me, or I can go down on you to ease that panic more?”
