While she answered the question, her mind seemed to leave her body and hover over her. It was some other woman lying through her teeth. Some other woman who wasthe other woman. Not her. She would never have gotten herself into this situation. She had morals. She knew better. Only she’d done it anyway. And she would have to get through it. Eventually, the world would forget about Mike and they’d forget she was ever even a part of The Vows. She’d have her own career and a house on the shore. Claudia would put out her own songs. She’d raise her son and move on, with or without Zane. Most likely without. But first she had to get through the next few weeks. She glanced at Amélie, who was chatting with one of the studio executives who was on set, and Amélie straightened her shoulders and smiled at her.Be strong. You’re not here to hide. You’re here to be seen.
When they were on the way home, Claudia was overcome with gratitude towards Amélie. “Thank you for today. You really helped me out.”
“It was nothing.”
“Did you meet anyone interesting?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Lucky for me then.”
“Yes, because if any of them had been even remotely attractive, I can promise you I’d be gone in an instant.”
TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE CONCERT
“Somewhere deep down there's a decent man in me, he just can't be found.” ~ Eminem
MARCH 7, 1997
ZANE
The band was back together. Three quarters of them, anyway. The truth was The Vows weren’t The Vows anymore. Not without the boy who’d dreamed up the entire thing in a canvas tent in Zane’s backyard all those years ago. But it felt good to play again, and to sing. They picked up a studio musician, Otis Greer, who they’d worked with in the past. He would take Mike’s place at the concert, and they’d had three practice sessions with him. Otis was a solid bass player. He was versatile and quiet, and he’d lost a few friends along the way, so he knew what the guys were going through. Well, what he thought they were going through. The documentary crew fromBehind the Musichad come to their first session, hoping to get some footage of the guys struggling to go on without Mike. They had gotten what they came for.
Today was a day that Zane had been dreading. In preparation for the concert, the guys were all meeting at the Dwyers’ to choose photos for the slide show. Kitty had keptnearly every photo ever taken of the band—discarded shots from professional photographers, along with pictures taken in their early years on Polaroids and Kodak Instamatics. She had an entire closet dedicated to the band, safely tucked away in a guest room that never got used. So she and Rusty hauled the boxes out and set them up on the kitchen table (the dining room was still a model train paradise), and Zane drove over with a box of doughnuts to help get them through it.
Kitty opened the door and ushered Zane into the house. “Hey, you. Glad you could make it.”
“Thanks for doing this.”
“Of course,” she said, leading him to the kitchen.
The sight of dozens of boxes labeled with the years on them hit Zane hard. It was their entire history. And they could never go back to the way things were. His expression must have shown what he was thinking, because Kitty wrapped an arm around his shoulder.
“This is going to be tough,” Zane said in a low voice.
“Yes, it will,” she answered. “But it’ll be good for you. You can’t outrun grief so you might as well welcome it in for a while.”
Zane’s nose tingled. “Yeah, I suppose that’s a lesson we should learn from Mike.”
Rusty brought him a coffee. “It’s still going to suck balls to do this.”
The security system buzzed, and Kitty let go of Zane. “That’ll be the other guys.”
As soon as she left, Zane took the mug from Rusty. “Got any Bailey’s to go in this?”
“It’s already in there.”
The next few hours were the most vulnerable Zane had allowed for himself in his entire life. The men laughed andcried and talked about how they couldn’t believe how young they once were and ‘do you remember that day? It was the best.’
Zane opened a box marked 1975 - 1980, and the first picture he pulled out was of the four of them on Steven’s wedding day, all of them in matching blue tuxedos with ruffled shirts. He chuckled and held it up for the other guys to see. Everyone other than Steven laughed at their outfits.
“We look very dapper,” Rusty said.
“Remember how hungover we were?” Zane asked.
Steven narrowed his eyes. “Remember how you brought a date even though your wife was there?”
MAY 1976
