“Hmph,” Sienna answered in a noncommittal way.
“If you came, I bet Parker would too,” Zane said, giving her the puppy dog eyes again.
“I’m not going to force him to do something if he doesn’t want to,” Sienna answered.
“But he’d want to if you were there,” Zane told her. “Because if you were there, he’d stop thinking he needs to hate me in order to show his loyalty to you.”
Sienna glared at her husband. “He’s hurt, Zane. It’s not about me. It’s about the fact that he used to be your only son, and now he’s not.”
Looking appropriately sheepish, Zane said, “I’m sure you’re right.”
“Mom, we should all go. Uncle Mike would’ve wanted us there,” Ivy told her. “He’d want you there. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Sienna teared up, her throat thick with the pain of losing someone who was more like family to her than most of her relatives. “I have to think about it.”
“Pulease, Mom!” Poppy said, jumping up and down a few times. “Please, please, please!”
Sienna gave her a stern look. “I said I have to think about it, young lady, which is exactly what I’m going to do.”
“Don’t you miss Uncle Mike?”
“Of course I miss him,” she answered. “But I have to make the right decision about this.”
Zane finished up with the cheese and gave her a small smile. “I promise that if you do decide to come, I won’t take it as a sign of anything other than you helping to honor Mike.”
She pursed her lips at him. “Really?”
“Swear to God.” He crossed his heart and stared at her. “It’s a family event, and even if things don’t work out with us, we’ll have family events together.”
Sienna glanced at her daughters, her heart squeezing at their hopeful expressions. “Girls, go get your coats on. I need to talk to your father for a second.”
They hurried off to the mudroom, leaving the adults alone. Sienna set down the knife and spoke quietly. “I don’t think you appreciate how awful this would be for me. For the kids too.She’llbe there.”
“I’ll make sure to keep everyone separated. Claudia can have the farthest trailer from ours, and we’ll get Kitty and Rusty’s kids to hang out with them. It really will be an incredible night. Something they’ll remember for the rest of their lives.” Zane placed his hands on her shoulders. “And I need you there. I need you to be backstage smiling at me while I try to do the hardest thing I’ll ever do. I’m trying to fight my way through this, babe, but it feels impossible.” He looked down at her, his eyes pleading. “I want to bring you up on stage and sing to you about your eyes and kiss your mouth in front of the entire world and show everyone what we are together. You’re still my girl. You’ll always be my girl, no matter what.”
She felt herself being carried off by his words to an easier existence, back to their old perfectly imperfect life. Back to the safety and security that it was to be part of an ‘us.’ And much to her surprise, she heard herself say yes.
THREE WEEKS UNTIL THE CONCERT
“The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.” ~ Stephen King
MARCH 1, 1997
CLAUDIA
As March came in like a lion, Claudia arrived like a lioness. She felt strong and fit, even though she still had about ten pounds to go. She continued nursing Elliott, so Enid hired a stylist to help her ‘work around her huge jugs.’ Her song, called ‘Already Gone,’ had been recorded, and the label was keeping it under wraps for now, but every radio station had a copy ready for the morning after the concert. The debut would be on stage. Just her and a guitar under the night sky. Cameras would be set up to record every angle, then they would edit them into the official video. Pictures of Mike would flash across a massive screen behind her, including some personal photos of them at the house in Malibu. Shots of the stars and a live feed of the comet would be interspersed between the memories of their life together. The production team wanted Zane and the guys to bring Elliott out on stage for the last verse, but Claudia refused. What she was doing was bad enough. She wasn’t about to subject herbaby to the noise and unpredictability of a late-night crowd.
The last few months had been emotional and exhausting as all hell, and there were moments when she was sure she couldn’t keep up the lie. Not without going crazy. This afternoon would be one of the toughest tests of the plan—the photo shoot forPeoplemagazine with the band and Elliott. The cameraman from VH1 would be there, as well as a crew fromEntertainment Tonight. She’d have to fix a smile to her face the entire time. Her stomach had been queasy since she woke up, and if she didn’t know any better, she’d think she was pregnant again.
Amélie, the nanny, would come along to the photo shoot, and was in the shower, while Claudia stood in the living room trying to get a burp from her son.
The commercial for the concert, which had been shown around-the-clock for weeks, started up again. She stopped patting Elliott’s back and felt him tighten his fists on the shoulder of her sweater. The room looked like a thousand diaper bags had erupted, leaving burping cloths, bottles, soothers, and baby clothes scattered everywhere. A book of Angela McCreight’s poetry sat uncracked on the coffee table, the sight of it making Claudia’s chest tighten. A laundry basket sat next to the sofa, heaped with clean, wrinkled clothing.
She wondered if maybe she should ask Amélie to help with these things but then remembered their first conversation when her new nanny made it clear that she wasn’t a housekeeper. Just a nanny. That way she can focus on thebébé. It didn’t matter though. Elliott didn’t seem to mind the mess, and it’s not like anyone was coming to visit anytime soon. Not even his own father.
She got back to patting him hard on the back to get aburp out of him, having discovered the importance of proper burping to have a settled, happy infant. Claudia’s hand stilled when she heard the first few notes of ‘If I Didn’t Have Her’—the song chosen as background music. False advertising if ever it existed because there was no way she and Zane were going to get up on that stage and sing that for the crowd. Sienna would never allow it. In fact, she must have been furious when she saw the commercial.
They’d gotten Don LaFontaine (the announcer who’d done every movie trailer Hollywood put out since the early ‘80s) to voice the ad. “Pepsi and Full Moon Records present the biggest night in rock ‘n’ roll history—The Concert Under the Comet—an unforgettable evening to remember rock legend Mike Kurilla. A once-in-a-lifetime celestial event meets a once-in-a-generation musical event, set in the Nevada desert, featuring Pearl Jam, Bon Jovi, The Fugees, Beck, Snoop Dog, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and The Vows.” Images of Mike and Zane sharing a mic flashed across the screen, with her on the far right in the background.
