That morning, they fought about Poppy. He had tried to convince her to hire a nanny. She told him it wouldn’t help because Poppy only wanted her. He suggested the nanny could look after the other kids, which caused Sienna to burst into tears and say she didn’t want some other woman raising her babies. Feeling helpless, he yelled that he ‘didn’t know what the hell she wanted him to do about it’ and that ‘he’d laid the entire world at her feet, but it would never be enough for her.’
And now, as he sat in the studio, the walls feeling like a cage, he wished he hadn’t said any of it. She probably just needed a hug and for him to say that someday soon Poppy would sleep through the night. But he hadn’t. He’d taken outhis insecurities and his frustration at how poorly the studio sessions were going on his wife. But he couldn’t fix that now, could he? Not at three a.m. He might as well push on and get this done. “Anyone else want to abandon ship?” Zane asked.
Steven held up a hand. “Me. According to you, I add nothing to the process anyway.” He set his drumsticks down on the snare and grabbed his coat. “I’ll be back around two tomorrow.”
“Terrific,” Zane muttered.
Mike grabbed a pack of cigarettes off the coffee table, only to discover it was empty. He swore under his breath, then said, “I’m going out for some smokes.”
Claudia turned to him. “Do you want me to come?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I’d be shit company right now.”
Zane watched her face fall as Mike stalked out the door. He hated what Mike did to her sometimes. Hated that she put up with it. But then he wouldn’t have picked her if she hadn’t been the type to let that stuff slide.
As soon as Mike left, Claudia said, “Maybe I should go home. Clearly, I’m the one throwing you guys off.”
Zane shook his head. “Nah, nope. You stay. It’s always this hard.”
She seemed to take him at his word and flopped onto the couch again. “I had no idea this was what this was like.”
“How did you think it went?”
Shrugging, she said, “I don’t know. Working on the greatest hits album was so easy. I assumed it was always like that—a smooth ride down a flowing river.”
“It’s more like a war. With us anyway. In the end, it all comes together somehow, but we can’t seem to skip the partwhere you forget why the hell you ever got into this business in the first place.”
She covered her mouth while she yawned. “Why did you?”
Zane’s lopsided grin appeared. “Honestly?”
“Yes.”
“Keep in mind I was fourteen when Mike and I started the band, so we weren’t exactly sophisticated.”
“I promise not to judge.”
“Also, we were the two scrawniest, nerdiest kids in the state of Washington.”
“Duly noted.”
Zane gave her a reluctant grin. “We wanted to get girls.”
She burst out laughing, and Zane narrowed his eyes in jest. “Hey, you said you wouldn’t judge.”
“I never said I wouldn’t laugh,” she answered. “Anyway, it worked. You snagged yourself Sienna.”
“And Mike finally found you.”
“That too,” Claudia said. She tilted her head at him. “What makes you keep going? I mean, you don’t need to work this hard. You could never sing again and you’d still never want for anything.”
Zane stared at the keys for a second before answering. “It’s just… everything, isn’t it? The power of writing words that people you’ll never meet can feel in their bones, creating the soundtrack to their lives. The background to their best memories. Writing a tune that’ll make them so happy, they’ll tap their fingers on the steering wheel even though they’re on the way to some crappy job.” He glanced at her. “This is going to sound crazy or wrong, but… it makes me feel like a god.”
Claudia’s eyes widened, so he quickly went on. “Not like an important god. NottheGod.” He gave her a sheepishsmile. “More like a small demigod who can sweep into people’s lives and change their minds about things or let them know they’re not alone.”
She whispered, “Wow. So that’s why you’re who you are.”
He glanced at her mouth, noticing how full her lips were. He’d been far more aware of that in the time since she’d moved solidly into the ‘off-limits’ category. She’d also lost a lot of weight, which gave her cheekbones that could rival Naomi Campbell. “I hope you’ll be able to feel that too someday. That power. It’s addictive.”
