“Yeah, you’re right,” Mac answers. “Good night, Paige.”
“Good night, Mac.”
I turn over to face the opposite way, curling up as small as I can make myself in the bed, wanting to be as far away from him as possible. The truth is, I’m falling hard for him. In fact, there’s a very good chance that it’s already too late for my heart. But he doesn’t—and won’t—ever want me back. Not the way I need him to.
19
While You Were Sleeping (Director’s Cut)
Mac
Paigeand I are back on the dock in San Felipe. She’s wearing that awful peach dress, only this time instead of telling her she looks like she got stuck in a cotton candy machine, I tell her the truth—that she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She smiles up at me, resting her hands on my chest, sending a deep feeling of warmth throughout my body. I want those hands on me. All over me. But it’s not enough. It’ll never be enough.
“Kiss me,” she says, lifting herself onto her toes and pressing herself against me. “Kiss me and make everything all right again.”
I lower my mouth to hers, our lips brushing against each other with the softness of a feather.Mmm, this feels nice. I reach out and take her by the waist, pulling her to me so I can feel her curves against my body. Her lips part and she kisses me more fiercely now. With more urgency. And I kiss her back like I mean it, even though some distant part of my mind is telling me to stop. Why do I need to stop? Idon’t want to. Not when it feels this good. A nagging sensation comes over me, and I realize we’re going to be late for the wedding.
“We don’t have time,” I tell her. “We’ve got to get going.”
She looks up at me, her eyes wide and pleading. “We do if we hurry.” Turning away from me, she says, “Here, help me get out of this dress.” Her tone is breathy, filled with longing.
I slowly lower the zipper, then run my hands up her back until I reach the straps. Using my thumbs, I slide the straps off her shoulders and watch as the peach cloud of fabric lands at her feet, leaving her fully nude. She falls back against me, tilting her head, giving me access to her neck. I leave a trail of kisses from her ear lobe to her collar bone, drawing out a little moan from deep inside her. Reaching around, I hug her tight to me, I caress the skin on her stomach and make my way up to her full breasts. God, that feels good. So, so good. She turns her head and I find her mouth with mine, thrusting my tongue inside to show her what I want to do. She grinds against me, her curves waking up my entire body, and I’m suddenly desperate to have her. I want to caress every curve, touch every inch of her skin, to feel her tighten around me and draw me in as deep as I can get.
“I want you, Mac,” she whispers, panting and moving more quickly now.
She wants me, and I want her back, more than I’ve ever wanted any woman in my life. But there’s that voice telling me to stop. She’s going to miss the wedding. I can’t do this to her. It would be wrong. Totally wrong.
She reaches around and presses her fingers to my hard length, rubbing against the fabric that is in the way. I let out a groan, wishing my clothes could instantly disappearbecause I don’t want to take my hands off her long enough to strip down. She turns her head a little more and kisses me harder this time, making me completely wild with lust. “Yes, Mac. Yes,” she whispers. “I want you now.”
“I want you too, so bad,” I murmur. “But we shouldn’t do this.”
“Why not?”
Why not? I don’t know why not. I do, but I can’t remember right now. My brain has been rendered completely ineffective.Wake up. Wake up, you idiot. You’ve got to wake up. You cannot do this.
My eyes fly open. It’s light out and I see Paige lying in front of me, her t-shirt pulled up, her head turned to me, lips parted, eyes closed. My arm is wrapped around her and my hand is on her breast. She kisses me again, and suddenly I’m fully aware that this isn’t just a dream. My first thought is that I need to stop, but she’s so unbelievably sexy, I don’t want to. I want to pretend I’m still asleep so we can finish what we’ve started. It would be incredible and we both know it.
But I can’t. I won’t take advantage of her like this. Not when I know what she’s looking for and I know I can’t give it to her.
I force myself to slide my hand from her chest, but I only manage to get as far as her hip. After a few torturous seconds, I peel my fingers off her body one by one, then gently lower her shirt. It hurts like hell but it’s the right thing to do. I carefully take her hand and set it down in front of her, then pull back, leaving an empty space between us on the small bed, hoping I don’t wake her.
If she can just keep sleeping, this won’t have to get awkward. We won’t have to have a conversation I don’t want to have. I still my breath, hoping that if I’m totally silent, she won’t wake up. She lets out a little pouty moanthat nearly does me in, and then shifts herself so she’s pressed against me again. I let her grind against me for a few seconds, before I reach up and stop her with a hand on her hip.
“No, Paige, we can’t do this,” I whisper.
“But I want to,” she mutters, eyes still closed. “So, so much.”
Closing my eyes, I use every ounce of will power I’ve got so I won’t start things up again. “Go back to sleep,” I tell her. “You’re just dreaming.”
She rolls onto her stomach with a groan and after a couple of seconds, her breathing grows steady again, and I know she’s asleep. Peeling myself from the bed, I tiptoe out of the room and go directly to the shower to finish off what we started.
Standing under the spray of water, I imagine her slipping into the shower with me and kissing me hard on the mouth, her hair and skin getting soaked as I press her up against the wall. I let go, easing the incredible tension that’s been growing each hour since I first saw her on that dock. I give myself a couple of minutes to recover before I shut off the water and dry off, knowing that each day we’re out here together, it’s going to get harder and harder to resist. At some point, I’m going to break completely and give in. And as incredible as it will be, someone is going to get hurt.
By the time she comes tumbling out of the bedroom, the last pancake is almost done and the coffee is ready. I’ve already been outside to lay my blankets and pillow out in the sun to dry off because there’s no way I’m sharing a bed with her again. One night of tempting fate was enough to prove to me that it was a very bad idea.
She’s dressed in jean shorts and a tank top. She blushes a little when she sees me, and I’m not sure if she remembers what we were doing or not. I stare at her for a second, wondering what she’s thinking and how she’s feeling, but there’s no clear sign of anything on her face. Only the sight of her freshly scrubbed skin with a few new freckles from yesterday’s sun.
“Good morning,” I manage, turning my gaze back to the stove.
