“I was merely correcting your wrong assumption,” I say, some distant part of my brain telling me to calm down. Well, I’m not listening to him. “I’ve been with a lot of women. I know how to be around them. I just don’t like them all.”
“Let me guess. Your perfect match is demure and tiny with no opinions.”
Leaning toward her a little, I say, “Nope. I like strong,curvy, and smart. Just not unreasonable or high-maintenance.”
Her cheeks turn pink and she turns her gaze to the fire. “Yeah, well … whatever. It doesn’t matter what you like anyway. I want my money back and I’ll … catch my own fish rather than pay you another dime.”
“And … we’re back to money.”
“In the real world, money’s pretty damn important,” she says, sounding defensive.
“Agreed,” I say, lifting my water bottle to my lips. I hold it there while I add, “But it’s not theonlything that matters.”
We’re both quiet for a moment, and when she speaks again, her voice is quiet. “It’s not the money that matters. It’s what it gets you—respect, recognition, knowing you made it.”
“Okay, I’ll play along,” I say, setting my bottle on the sand next to my foot. “Let’s say five years from now, you’re sitting in your corner office, and ten years from then, you’re richer than you ever thought possible. There’s nothing you can’t buy. Then what?”
“What do you mean, then what?” she asks, wrinkling up her face in disgust. “Then I’ll havemade it.”
“Yeah, so, then what?”
“Then I’ll enjoy the fruits of my hard work. I’ll live the good life, knowing I built it all myself.”
“Ah, thegood life,” I say with a nod. “You know, when you thought you were about to die, it wasn’t money you were screaming about.”
She holds up one hand, her face flushing. “Yeah, whatever I said at that … moment was just utter nonsense.”
“I don’t think so,” I say, shaking my head. “You were talking about your biggest regrets, which is exactly what people do when they think they’re going to die.”
She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “So, you actually believe my biggest regret in life is not having a man?”
Shrugging, I say, “You said what you said.”
“That is ridiculous. I just said the first thing that popped into my mind. It meant nothing.”
“So you’ve been in love then? With some guy who you had toe-curling sex with?”
She narrows her eyes. “That isnoneof your business.”
“I’ll take that as a no.”
Her head snaps back at the word no, and I know I’ve crossed a line. I should back off, but I don’t. Instead, I say, “When’s the last time you enjoyed yourself? Or are you so busy you can’t remember?”
“You know what?” she says, her face all defiant. “That’s none of your damn business either. You don’t know me, so don’t sit there pretending you do.” She stabs at the fish with her fork and pops some into her mouth, chewing furiously.
“You’re wrong. I do know you,” I say, locking eyes with her. “You grew up thinking you weren’t good enough, so you’ve spent your entire adult life with something to prove. Nothing’s going to stand in the way of success—not your family, not friends, and certainly not love. You wake up each day with every minute already accounted for, and the last thing you think about when you go to sleep is your to-do list for tomorrow. You know why you’ve never had great sex? It’s because you don’t make the time for it. Hell, you probably haven’t even looked up at the night sky since you were a kid.”
She stares at me defiantly. “I’ll have plenty of time to look up at the stars from my penthouse suite, thank you very much.”
“No, you won’t,” I say, shaking my head. “Once you’vemade it, you’ll set the bar higher and keep going on your success treadmill until you die alone.”
“That isnottrue.” She tilts her head up to the sky. “See? I’m doing it now, oooohhh, stars. Wow.” What starts out as sarcasm shifts to sincerity as she whispers, “Look at all of them.”
I stare at her for a moment, thinking she may not be a lost cause after all. Or is that just wishful thinking? “Incredible, isn’t it?”
After a moment, she lets out a heavy sigh. “It makes me feel small.”
Something about the way she says it causes me to feel sorry for her. Here she is, trying so hard to be tough, when really, she’s just wildly insecure. “When I look up at the stars, it reminds me that my problems are small.”
