Okay, this is bad.
I turn my head and look behind me, only to see that there’s no point in going back. We’re right in the middle of the storm now and the only way out is to go through it.
The plane bounces, causing her to draw a line of pink right up the middle of her orange cheek. “Shit,” she mutters.
Shit is right. Rain starts to pelt down in sheets, turning the already poor visibility into no visibility. Well, this is just great. I’m going to die with some high-maintenance diva who’s dressed like a stone fruit. Just what I always wanted.
7
Well, This Is Just Great…
Paige
Okay,so this storm is a wee bit on the scary side. Mr. Surly is pretending everything’s fine, but I’m not sure I should believe him. There’s a bead of sweat forming on his forehead and believe me, it’s not hot in here. As soon as we flew into this storm, things got chilly. Speaking of chilly, could he be more rude? I don’t think so. I mean seriously, saying I look like I got caught in a cotton candy machine? How crappy is that? It’s basically true, and itiskind of funny, but he shouldn’t have said it. For all he knew I designed this dress myself. I glance over at his hand as he grips the yoke. That is one manly hand leading up one very muscly arm, leading to one hell of a ripped body. He’s probably married to aPlayboyPlaymate or something. Someone with a tiny waist and huge boobs.
Huh. No ring. They’re probably just engaged.Oh my God, Paige. Get back to work! Those dark circles under your eyes won’t go away on their own!I don’t have the first clue what to do with my hair, but I’ll figure it out. It’s probably a goodthing I’ll miss all the photos. I would have just ruined them anyway. My stomach tightens at the thought of facing my entire family in a few minutes. I can only hope the event itself brings out a sense of forgiveness because otherwise I’m in for the worst vacation of my entire life. Honestly, there’s nothing I can imagine that would be worse than being stuck on an island with fifty or so angry, judgmental Chadwicks. I suck in a deep breath and exhale loudly.
Glancing over at me, he says, “You okay?”
“Yeah, just thinking about how awful it’s going to be with my family. They’re all furious with me on account of me being so—” The plane bounces again, this time so hard it makes a loud banging sound. I yelp the word “LATE!” then follow that up with, “Sorry. I know that’s not helpful. I’ll let you concentrate.”
“Thanks,” he says, his voice gruff.
I’m doing my best to stay calm, but inside I’m screaming like Jamie Lee Curtis inHalloween. I grip my makeup kit with my left hand while I wipe the lipstick off my cheek. A gust of wind tosses the aircraft to the right and I jab myself in the eye with my finger. “Ouch, son of a…”
“Get your seatbelt on. This is gonna get rough,” Mac says, his voice sounding unbelievably calm.
I look out the window, only to get an up close and personal view of the biggest black clouds I’ve ever seen. Terrified, I quickly grab at the seat belt, but I can’t get it to buckle around the yards of tulle and chiffon encasing my body. I tug at it, trying to loosen it as fast as I can. The plane jostles me so hard that my makeup case goes flying off my lap and crashes to the floor, eyeshadow and bronzer spilling out everywhere. “Shit!” I reach down, trying to salvage what I can, but my huge skirt is in the way.
“Never mind that,” he orders. “Get buckled!”
I manage to grasp an Estée Lauder powder brush as it rolls toward me. Clutching it in my palm, I shake it at Mac. “Do you have any idea what all that stuff is worth?”
“If it’s less than your life, leave it.” Mac’s voice is no longer calm and comforting. He’s furious. He grabs the brush out of my hand and tosses it into the back. “Seat belt. Now!”
Lightning flashes in the sky, and the back end of the plane swings wildly from side to side while I fiddle with the belt. I finally manage to get it on, but in the process, my dress bunches up, so I can barely see over it, not that I’m sure I want to. I clutch the seat arms with both hands and tell myself to remain calm. Chadwicks meet death bravely, stoically, not screaming and sobbing and making a scene. At least I think we do. It’s not something we’ve discussed. Lightning flashes again, instantly followed by the loudest clap of thunder I’ve ever heard. It vibrates right through me.
Oh my God, I’m about to die.“Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!!!”
We drop suddenly, and my stomach lifts up to my throat, and I shut my eyes as tightly as possible. “I’m too young to die! I’ve never been in love! Well, not with someone who loved me back. I’ve never even had good sex!”Stop saying things, idiot!“I mean, I’ve had okay sex, but not the toe-curling kind you read about in romance books. Not once have my toes curled! Please don’t let me die before I get a chance for my toes to curl!”
“Shut up and hold on!” Mac shouts as the plane tips forward and starts hurtling toward the earth. “Mayday! Mayday! This is C1509. I’ve been hit by lightning, and we’re going down. Two souls on board. Navigation equipment appears to be fried and exact location unknown…”
He continues saying a bunch of things I don’tunderstand into the radio, but none of them sound promising. I open one eye just the tiniest bit to see him wrestling the controls. Two souls on board? Why do they have to use the word souls? It makes death sound inevitable. Tears prick my eyes, and I fight the sobs building in my chest.This is it. This is the end. I’m about to die.I shut my eyes again and start praying, trying to block out the sound of his voice, the terrifying beeping coming from the dashboard, and an awful, ear-splitting screeching sound.
Oh, that’s me.I’mthe awful screeching noise.
I’m going to die.
Tiffany’s going to be so pissed at me for ruining her wedding.
8
Hangry Bridesmaids and Other Hazards
Paige
I wakeup to the sound of pounding rain on metal. My body feels stiff, but I’m alive. I think. What’s that warm feeling on my hand? I open my eyes and see Mac crouched over me, his fingers pressed to the inside of my wrist. “There you are. You’ve been out for a few minutes.”
