“Don’t worry about that, Grandma,” Winnie said, taking a small bite of turkey.
“Why not?” Lilian asked, then glanced at Mike. “Did you get a big raise or something?”
“No,” Winnie answered for him. “My mom’s not actually going to law school.”
Lilian blinked at her granddaughter and the rest of the room went silent. Jessica felt the skin on the back of her neck crawling, although she didn’t know why just yet.
“But I thought you were going to be a lawyer now?” Lilian asked. “How can you do that if you don’t go to law school?”
“She’s not going to law school because she’s not going to get in,” Winnie said.
“Winnie,” Mike said, shaking his head.
“What? That’s what you said, Dad,” Winnie answered with a shrug.
“You said that?” Jess asked, feeling the air leave her lungs.
Mike opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, reminding Jess of a fish that had just been pulled out of a lake. “It’s out of context. I didn’t say that exactly. What I said was…the chances that you’d get in aren’t all that good.” He scrambled to add, “But I only said it because she was so upset about you using part of their college fund.”
Jess stared at her husband, a tight pain constricting her throat. Tears pricked the backs of her eyes as she sat, humiliated as his words swirled above her in the room.
Susan made a loudtsking sound. “Seriously, Mike? You said that?”
Tom’s eyes grew wide and he tucked his lips between his teeth, clearly trying not to laugh. Just what he found so damn funny, Jess didn’t know.
Mike shot a glare at Susan, then looked at Jess. “I was just trying to make her feel better.”
Jessica narrowed her eyes at him. “But you must think I don’t have a good shot at it, if you said it.”
He tilted his head. “I mean … I just don’t know if there are a lot of law schools that’ll be swinging the doors open for people your age.” He blanched and added, “Ourage. When they could be giving the spot to someone who will have a much longer career.”
Winnie gave her mom a satisfied smile. “He’s right. They want young people. Besides, your undergrad degree is so old, I don’t even know if they’ll count it anymore. So much has changed in the world.”
Tom made a low whistling sound under his breath, and Jess could almost hear him mentally chanting cat fight.
Blinking back tears, Jessica glanced up at the ceiling, then took a swig of wine and focused on her plate.
“Honey, it’s not that I don’t think you’re smart enough. Of course you are. You scored in the top five percent in the country the first time you took the LSAT. It’s just been areally long timesince you took it.”
“And Dad was shocked you even scored that high the first time,” Noah added with a loud laugh.
Jessica’s head snapped back. “Is that so?”
“Again, out of context,” Mike said, panic clearly written on his face.
“How is it out of context?” Noah asked. “You said you weren’t even sure that she had scored as high as she said she did, and that even if she did, it was probably a bit of a fluke so Winnie and I shouldn’t worry about her wasting our college tuition.”
And just like that, all thoughts of the night—and the life—that had seemed so possible for the two of them a mere twenty minutes ago had vanished. Not only did her husband not support her, he didn’t even believe she had the brains enough to do it. A deep sense of betrayal seared through Jessica’s chest, leaving a scar she knew would never completely disappear. Setting her napkin next to her plate, she stood. “Excuse me,” she said quietly.
“Hon, don’t—”
Jessica held up one hand, silencing Mike. “Nope.”
She left the room and walked on slightly wobbly legs to their bedroom and shut the door gently behind her. Baxter scratched on the other side and she let him in, then walked to the en suite and slid the pocket door shut and locked it. Sitting on the side of the tub, she sucked in a deep breath of air, trying in vain to fill bottomless lungs. Her cheeks flamed with humiliation and her skin felt cold and clammy. She wanted to turn on the water and sink into a hot bath until everyone had left, but she wasn’t going to do that. They had a houseful of people who were already feeling incredibly awkward, and Jess wasn’t about to make it worse.
She gave herself a few minutes, letting silent tears slide down her cheeks, then washed her face, put some cream on, straightened her back, and made her way down the stairs, reminding herself that she had nothing to be ashamed of. Mike did. Winnie too. She was old enough to know better, but Jess supposed her daughter really didn’t care that she had embarrassed her mom. In fact, it probably had given her a little thrill—to wield that sort of power in front of her relatives. Winnie probably thought Jess deserved it, after wanting to ‘waste’ her hard-earned money on herself.
The sound of laughter assaulted her ears as Jess approached the dining room. How dare they all move on and enjoy themselves when she was so upset? But that was human nature, wasn’t it? Nobody really cares too much about the discomfort of others, especially when there was good food and fun to be had. She forced a relaxed expression onto her face, even managing a smile at Susan and a little wink for her nieces to let them know that Auntie Jess was just fine. Picking up her fork, she had a bite of sweet potato casserole, only to find that it had gone cold. Tom, who was in the middle of a story about the dumb guy at work, continued on. Michael, who was fully engrossed in it, yelled, “He didn’t!”
