“I’m still a mom,” Rachael said, sounding defensive. “But maybe I’ve started thinking more like a dad. Dads have their own lives, which, if you ask me, is a good thing.”
“Mine certainly did,” Jess said, thinking back to that awful spring day when her mother told her her dad had left them. “And it definitely wasn’t so good for us.”
“There’s having your own life and then there’s being a selfish prick, which is the category both your father and Sucralose Daddy fit in. What you need to do is find the happy medium—the place where you’re a separate being whose emotions don’t rely on how your offspring are faring in the world, but you’re still there for them,” Rachael pointed her fork at her friends. “The trouble with you two is you consider your children before you make any decision, no matter how small.”
“That makes us sound like we’re saints, and I can tell you, I’m no saint,” Jess said.
Rachael stared at her for a second. “Let me ask you something. When I suggested you take a night a week off, what was your first thought? Was it, I can’t do that to the kids. What if they need something?”
“Yes, something like that,” Jess admitted.
“And does Mike still play squash on Wednesday nights?”
“Yup.”
“And does he just go, or does he check in with each of you first to see if he’s needed?”
Rachael knew very well that Mike packed his squash bag in the trunk on Wednesday mornings and came back late that night. Jess had complained about it often enough, especially when the kids were little. “Okay, I see your point,” said Jess. “But I don’t need a break as much as some respect.”
“You need both.” Rachael pursed her lips. “And to be honest, taking the break is far more likely to garner you some respect.”
“How?” Jess asked, her cheeks hot.
“Because you’ll be setting a boundary for once,” Diana said. “And when they all realize you’re serious, they’ll stop walking all over you.”
“They don’t—”
“Yes, Jessica. They do.”
Diana nodded at Jess. “They really do.”
Jessica could feel tears stinging the backs of her eyes and she stared down at her half-eaten breakfast, no longer hungry. She felt picked on and upset. All she wanted was to have a fun few hours out with her friends, and somehow it had turned into a lecture about how she was living her life.
Diana put a hand on her shoulder. “Listen, we’re not trying to be bitches here. We just want you to be happy.”
“Iamhappy. Well, happy enough anyway,” Jess said, fidgeting with the cloth napkin on her lap. “I mean, who among us is truly happy all the time anyway?”
“You have arightto be happy,” Rachael said. “You’re constantly looking after everyone else, but you don’t ask for anything in return. And youshouldask. In fact, you should demand it. Relationships aren’t supposed to be a one-way street.”
The word ‘demand’ ruffled Jessica’s feathers. “Oh, come on, that’s how it is with kids. They’re not here to take care ofus. It’s the other way around.”
“But they can learn to be more independent, and they can bloody well do things to help out. It’s not like any of our children are incapable of bending at the waist to pick up whatever crap they’ve left lying around,” Rachael said. “In fact, you’ll be doing them a giant favor if you let them start doing for themselves. They’ll be better roommates and better partners someday.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Jessica answered before letting out a long sigh. It all sounded like so much work. Putting her foot down, nagging them to clean up after themselves. She knew there would be an endless amount of arguing, but maybe that was the answer.
“Jess, I’m not trying to upset you,” Rachael said. “I’m just worried about you. You haven’t seemed like yourself for a long time, to be honest.”
“It’s true,” Diana added. “A long time. You’ve lost your sparkle and we just want you to get it back.”
Jess turned to look at Diana, feeling slightly betrayed that her bestie was switching over to Rachael’s side of the argument. The look of concern on Diana’s face immediately doused the flames of irritation in Jessica’s chest.
“Have you thought about maybe talking to someone?” Diana asked.
“Like a therapist?”
“Yeah, it could help.”
Rachael picked up her bellini. “The woman I took the kids to when Ted and I split up was an absolute gem. She doesn’t see adults, unfortunately.”
