“She’s hardly disadvantaged,” I answer.
“You know what I mean. You were born responsible. She’s going to have to learn it. Besides, she could really use a boost as far as her self-esteem goes.”
If there’s one thing Kat doesn’t need, it’s an ego boost. She’s the most confident nineteen-year-old in the world. “Yes, well, as far as I know, we don’t have any positions open, unpaid or not.”
“But check for us, will you?” Dad asks, wrapping his arm around Mum’s shoulder. “Your mother needs to know Kat won’t be on our couch watching reality TV the rest of her life.”
She nods. “I do. I really need that.”
“Well, put your foot down and tell her to find a job, then,” I say.
“She’s tried,” Mum says, looking suddenly forlorn. “But because she’s got no experience, no one will hire her, and the older she gets without experience, the more of a red flag it is for potential employers.”
As it should be.
“Please, Birdie? For me?” Dad asks, pulling his sad face.
“All right, I’ll ask when I get to work on Monday,” I say, deciding I’ll check on openings in housekeeping. “But chances are not good, so don’t get your hopes up.”
“We won’t,” Mum says, even though the look in her eyes says she has her hopes way, way up.
Uncle Dan makes his way over to pour himself a whiskey. “Say, Nora, you look like you’ve lost weight.”
Finally. Thank you. “I have, actually.”
He looks me up and down. “Well, you better stop. Your bosoms have basically disappeared.”
Beth leans down so her eyes are level with my chest. “He’s right, you know. You won’t find a man if you don’t have anything to grab onto.”
“Jesus wept,” Mum says. “They’re not handles.”
Dan wrinkles his nose as if she’s just said the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. “They make the most lovely handles of all. When they’re there, of course.”
Okay, I’m done. Time to go home for tea andBridgerton.
* * *
Mike the Moose - Tiktok Video
A twenty-something beefy blond in a tuxedo holds up a trophy and grins at the camera. “Hey, everybody, it’s your favourite Canadian bartender, Mike the MOOOOSSE, coming to you live from Montreal, where I have just beat out nine other incredible competitors in the North American Bartending Championships!” He kisses the trophy, then hollers, “Whoo! Yeah!”
Mike closes his eyes and calms his voice. “I’m so humbled to have beat such talented barkeeps. I want to thank all you guys out there for believing in me and following my journey this year.”
“WHOO!!! I DID IT!” The Moose resumes yelling, then lowers his voice again. “For the third time in a row, I’ll be heading to the World Bartending Championships.” And… more shouting. “YEAH! I’m going to the Benaventes, baby! Watch out, because The Moose will be loose in the Caribbean!”
* * *
TO-DO LIST (Home Version)
Find Kat a job anywhere but at the resort
Laundry
Groceries
Clean out bathroom drawers
Water plants
