I’m not normally one to put things off until the last minute. I like to prepare, research, write a few drafts. But I’ve procrastinated the fuck out of this new draft with a new direction because I just didn’t want to write it, so now I have no choice but to write it all in one day and hope it’s enough to satisfy my boss.
And won’t make my new girlfriend want to break up with me for writing about her and her family. Or want to murder me. Again.
We stayed in bed until late. I brought her breakfast in bed and made her come another two times. There’s no sweeter sound than making a woman come on her birthday, and this woman is insatiable. She broke another rule by talking about her ex while we were snuggled up naked together and told me he’d never explored her body the way I have.
Bastard.
Little does she know I’ve only just begun.
She’s picking me up in a while. Against all rational sense and reason, she invited Sully to her party tonight as well. I tried to warn her that he’d only eat all her food and outdance everyone in the room, but she insisted. And the fucker accepted.
A honk outside tells me she’s here, and she’s early. Not that I’m complaining, I’ve been unsettled for the last… uh… six and a half hours that I’ve been without her. Fuck. I’m so done for.
I could lie and say I didn’t notice her absence, but there’s been a nervous ripple just under my skin and an anticipation in my gut at seeing her again. She beams at me when I open the car door.
“You look great.”
My chest swells, like I’m taking my first full breath of the day. “Thanks. I needed to scrub up to keep up with you.” I sink into the passenger seat. “Youlook incredible.” She’swearing this dark blue, shimmery, jumpsuit thing that’s low cut and giving me a great view of her perky tits.
“You can’t look at me like that when we get to the party.”
I palm the back of my neck. “The fuck I can’t.”
“Then I need to get changed.”
I’m laughing and shaking my head. “I’m looking at you exactly the same way as I looked at you wearing my t-shirt yesterday.”
“Fuck.” She drops her head to the steering wheel. “You’re right. You are.” She snaps up her head and looks me dead in the eye. “When you look at me like that, it makes me want things.” She shifts her arse in the driver’s seat. “And I shouldn’t want those things.”
I open my mouth to tell her she can want sex whenever the fuck she wants it, however often she wants it, but she covers my mouth with her hand. “I’ve never had so much sex in one night. I’mfeeling it.”
When I fight a smile, she widens her eyes. “My kitty is crampy.”
That pulls a laugh from me, earning me a slap. “It’s not funny, Robert. It’s achy, and throbby, and it has a pulse of its own.” She’s outright whining now. “And I want more.” She points at me. “This is all your fault.”
“What did I do?” I hold my hands up as she starts the car and pulls away from my house.
She wags her finger again. “Your dick is possessed.”
I’ve never been accused of having a magical cock before. I’m not sure whether to laugh, cry, or order some kind of award to present myself with.
“You’ve turned me into some kind of sex-craving beast.”
Shrugging only earns me a glare from the distressed woman navigating the roads of Larne. “I fail to see a problem with your, er, problem. You like dick, I have a dick.”
“I have stuff to do. I can’t just give up mycareer to spend my days in bed,” she exclaims on an exasperated sigh. “I’m hoping the novelty wears off, and I’m not this horny forever.”
“If the novelty wears off, I might die. I’d rather my dick wore off before you stopped wanting it.”
She gasps. “Wish for no such thing.” She pats my crotch, waking up the appendage in question. “Don’t listen to the bad man.”
I shake my head. “You want your present?” I’m eager to give it to her while the prying eyes of her family are nowhere to be seen.
“Right now, while I’m driving? No, thank you.”
It doesn’t take long to get to the Pigeon Club: a local landmark. It’s an old man bar with no fee to book their function room, which has a cash bar. There’s a space for a live band or DJ, a dance floor, and can easily cater for a crowd.
Thelma’s got a local caterer doing the food. She and Rhiannon’s sisters were decorating earlier, and from what Aoife told me this morning when I offered to help, the place is coming down with balloons.
