Kisses for show:Kissing is only allowed if there’s a camera or a crowd. No audience? No action. No tongue.
Sell it to the skeptics:Handholding, pet names, and longing gazes mandatory in public. Convince everyone but ourselves.
No sleepovers:Even if it’s late. Even if it’s storming. Even if your hamstring needs icing. Your own bed. Every time.
Separate beds:In the event staying over is somehow unavoidable. No sharing. Not even once. Not even if the bed is king sized and there’s a pillow wall. Never.
11PM comms curfew:Let’s not accidentally drunk-trauma-dump via emoji.
For the grid:At least one couple social mediapost weekly. Heart emojis required. Comments optional but encouraged.
Date night:Mandatory weekly couple appearance. Make it look good.
Split the bill:No “boyfriend gestures,” like covering tabs, or surprise or sentimental gifts. Keep finances separate and drama-free.
No outside flirting:It’s exclusive until it’s over. No pursuing others during this arrangement.
Bulletproof the backstory:Our meet-cute must be memorized, believable, and bathroom-free.
