He disappears into the bathroom and comes back a moment later with a warm washcloth.
“Let me clean you up.”
I lean on the back of the couch while Hudson crouches before me, wiping the sticky residue from between my thighs. He’s as gentle with me as he was rough a moment ago, and something in my chest loosens. Hudson is more than a distraction; he’s a decent guy.
“Are you okay?” Hudson asks as he retrieves my panties from the floor and helps me climb into them, which is tricky when I’m still wearing my boots.
“Yeah,” I say, before awkwardly adding, “That was fun.”
His expression darkens, but I don’t know how to express in words what I’m feeling.
It was more than fun. I felt safe enough to let Hudson spank me and fuck me hard because I knew he wouldn’t really hurt me. I trust him with my body.
I’ve never done anything like that before, and I wonder if he has. I wonder what sex would be like if we weren’t fighting each other. If I didn’t wind him up just to see him explode.
I wonder what it would be like if we were just two people hanging out and not stuck together. If we’d even give each other the time of day.
When I first met Hudson, I pegged him as an uptight military guy who played by the rules. But he’s so much more. A guy like him would never want a woman like me. Not in the real world. He’s smart and organized and kind, and I’m a mess with no job and a criminal record.
This is fun while it lasts, and as long as we can keep the sex playful, then it’ll be fine. I have to swallow down these feelings I have for him.
“If that was supposed to stop me from going outside the perimeter, I don’t think it worked,” I joke to lighten the mood.
He chuckles. “I’ve finally accepted that you’ll probably never do as I ask. But it would make my life easier if you didn’t set off another sensor. I thought someone had taken you.” When heshudders and looks away, my heart quickens. Was he worried about me? But the guy was a Navy SEAL; he would’ve done the same for anyone.
He smooths my dress down, and his hand slides to my hip and catches at the fabric. For a moment, I think he’s going to slide it around my waist and draw me to him.
Instead, he plants a kiss on my forehead and lets the fabric fall.
“Let’s get some dinner.”
He moves to the kitchen, and I feel the loss of his proximity, the loss of his touch, his scent, and every part of him. He’s only a few feet away, but it feels like an ocean separates us.
If I want him to touch me again, I’ll have to dream up something even brattier to do.
22
HUDSON
Acry wakes me. It comes again, a whimper in the stillness of the night. I sit up in my sleeping bag and peer over the edge of the bed.
Willow tosses between the sheets as they tangle in her limbs. Her arms flail as the nightmare takes hold of her.
I peel out of my sleeping bag and sit on the edge of the bed. I stayed up later than she did to talk with Marcus and formulate our plan for the Street Kings. He’s found digital evidence that could put them away for a long time. We just need to check a few sources.
By the time I’d finished work, cleaned the dishes, and tidied Willow’s things, she was fast asleep.
As much as I longed to climb into the bed next to her, I couldn’t without her consent. So I took up my position on the floor, as close to her as I could get.
Now as she thrashes, caught in the throes of her nightmare, I sit next to her and shake her gently. “You’re having a bad dream,”I murmur. She moans and turns over, and I shake her harder. “Wake up, Willow.”
Her eyes flicker open, and she sits up, gasping for air. Her eyes are wild, and her hair tangles around her shoulders. There’s a layer of perspiration on her forehead.
“You had a bad dream, but you’re safe. I’m here.”
Turning to me, her expression changes to relief. “Hudson.” She reaches for me, and I draw her into my arms. Her head nestles against my chest, and I smooth her hair with my hand as I murmur reassurances. This is the vulnerable Willow, the side she doesn’t let anyone see. But she’s letting me see.
When her body has calmed and her breathing is back to a steady rhythm, I slide her back into the bed. Her arm clasps mine. “Stay.”
