All I have to do is be sensible. Reasonable. The responsible adult everyone expects me to be.
My phone rings, cutting through the spiral. Aunt Rene's name lights up the screen.
"Hey," I answer, my voice coming out rougher than I intend.
"Hey yourself. You sound like you're chewing gravel and washing it down with vinegar. What's wrong?"
I pause at a street corner, letting other pedestrians flow around me. "Nothing. Just brunch with Evan."
A long, pointed silence. Then: "That man still sniffing around your doorstep?" She makes a disapproving noise low in her throat. "Thought you threw that particular fish back into the pond where he belongs."
"He offered me a job." The words come out flat. Factual.
More silence. This one sharper, considering. Then: "A job or a leash? Because with men like Evan, there's usually not much difference between the two."
Trust Aunt Rene to slice straight through to the heart of things. No patience for dancing around the truth.
"A good job," I say, defensive despite myself. "Stable. Real benefits. Steady salary. The kind of thing adults are supposed to want."
"Uh-huh." Her skepticism travels clearly through the phone line. "And what's it cost you? Because nothing that man offers comes without a price tag attached."
I close my eyes. "The bookstore. Probably."
"Probably." She snorts. "Love's like a bad biscuit, kiddo. You gotta slap it to know if it's dough or just air. This job offer? That's air pretending to be substance. Evan never could tell the difference."
Despite everything, I smile. "That doesn't make sense."
"Sure it does. You're just thinking too hard. Where's that orc boy?"
"Stone's dealing with his own problems. The city suspended him."
"Because of you two?"
"Partly."
"Good."
I stop walking. "Good?"
"Means it matters. Means it's real enough to scare people. The fake stuff? Nobody cares about that. But real love? Real connection? That threatens the comfortable folks."
Real love. Is that what this is? Can it be after barely a week?
"I don't know what I'm doing, Auntie."
"Nobody does, baby. That's the whole point. You just do it anyway and hope you don't break too many dishes in the process."
"Very philosophical."
"Very practical. Now go talk to your orc. Stop letting that ex fill your head with his brand of coward."
She hangs up before I can respond.
The city moves around me. Inside me, something shifts.
Evan offered safety. A path back to the person I was before I risked everything on dreams and books and building something mine.
But I don't want to be that person anymore.
