“How happy?”
Despite needing to figure out why he’d been having such a tough time mentally committing to Justine, emotionally, he loved her. And physically… He couldn’t get enough of her.
She stripped him down and had her mouth on him in seconds.
He moaned, lost in lust and love and tired of stressing over it.
Pumping harder, he cupped her head, unsure how he’d lost all control around the woman. She licked and sucked, nibblingunder the head of his crown, and he came hard, moaning her name.
What is she doing to me?
He was breathing hard when she stood, stripped, and led him back to his bedroom. He couldn’t be anywhere in his apartment without thinking of her. She’d ingrained herself in his brain, in his bed, in his heart.
Yet a part of him remained distant, unsure why when the pleasure between them was so damn good.
He followed her down to the bed and immediately sought the wet heat between her legs. Feasting on her sex, he pumped a finger, then two inside her, loving how she trembled and sighed his name. He wanted to celebrate with her, to show her how much he cared while the words failed to pass his lips.
He would bring her close but not close enough, edging her several times before he crawled up her body and thrust fast and deep inside her. She keened his name as she came, squeezing him, so that he thrust twice more then came again.
She continued to kiss and hug him, shivering as she experienced that rush of pleasure. A combined meeting of mouths and bodies.
He kissed her back until they lay spent, together.
And he stopped thinking so hard about what everything meant and why he couldn’t make that last step to give Justine what she needed. What she deserved.
Justine had no idea why,but she felt Xavier retreating into himself. It had only been a few days since they’d confessed their feelings, but she felt like she knew him so much better now. And something had been bothering him for a while.
Now dressed and sitting on his couch, they felt like a couple, and also like a couple about to break up. It was so odd.
“Xavier, what’s going on with you? Did I do something?”
He blinked. “What?”
“You seem, I don’t know, like you’re not really here with me.”
He sighed. “Being back at work is taking some getting used to. I need to remember to distance myself from it or I can get kind of depressed.”
“I’m so sorry.”
They held hands, and he squeezed hers before pulling away. But the separation felt more than physical.
“I am too. I think…” He stood and started pacing. In all the time they’d been together, she’d never seen him so frazzled.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.” He sounded genuinely confused. “I love being with you. Spending time with you. You make me laugh and feel good. But lately, I don’t feel… I can’t describe it.”
Her stomach dropped. She’d just lost her job—her choice, but still. Was she about to lose him too? What had she done to jinx her life?
“This isn’t you, it’s me.” He gave a sharp laugh. “I know that sounds so trite. But it’s true. Ever since the barbecue at Mom’s, I’ve been processing what Auggie said.”
Justine studied him. “Auggie?” So his distance had nothing to do with her? Why then didn’t she feel any better?
“I feel like maybe I haven’t liked any of my mom’s boyfriends because I’m selfish. Like, maybe I need her attention or her love all to myself. But then, I don’t think that’s quite it.” He kept pacing, and she watched, amused, confused, and angry, because why couldn’t at least one point in her life work in her favor?
He continued, almost talking to himself, “I mean, I love her. I love Auggie. So why do I have a problem with the people I love finding love themselves?” He looked at her. “I think Auggie and Benji might seriously have a relationship going. And it bothers me.”
“The way I bother you?”
