But truly, I can’t know that. No one reallyknowsthe Knights. Sure, they’re small-town royalty, the ones who can do no wrong, but they’re also the quiet type. They keep their secrets close to their chests, which is a feat in this town, all things considered.
But I don’t know how to explain to her how much I need that hour in the mornings. I don’t want to fall apart.
I’m a Calloway. We don’t fall apart. We fix it. And we move on.
I’m not entirely sure how I’m meant to do that, and I am trying, but the debt keeps mounting up, the letters keep coming along with the threats. There’s a very real possibility I could lose the bar if I don’t figure it out. I don’t care about the small things, the TV that’s never used, the little jewelry stashed in a plastic tub upstairs — but this bar and my truck, those are the only things I have left. It feels as if I am holding onto a fraying rope and with every day that passes, the threads just keep popping and there are not many left to go before the whole thing snaps.
The bar gets too busy for us to keep going on with the topic, and I’m quietly thankful for it. I love my best friend. We’ve been through it all together, her wedding, children, my dad but there’s a certain level of shame I feel. I don’t want people to know the struggle, not even Ashley. She has it all together, and that’s right, that’s expected, but here I am, barely clawing my way through life, wading through the thick stuff and praying to find solid ground.
How could you be so stupid?
I wasn’t thinking of the long run when I signed all that paperwork, when I begged doctors and nurses to keep him alive.
I follow the last customer to the door just after midnight, locking it up as soon as they’re out on the street and walk through the now empty space, picking up glasses as I go which I place on the bar to deal with in the morning after my daily swim.
It’s a routine I’ve picked up. I get to bed around one, sleep about four or five hours, get up to sneak away to the ranch and then be back for the morning clean around eight or nine. We are open seven days a week all year round, I’m used to the long days and the lack of sleep now, but it doesn’t mean I’m not bone tired when I do eventually fall into bed.
Pushing through the staff door, I turn and unlock the door that opens up to a narrow set of stairs that leads up to the small studio apartment I had put in when I was renovating this place. It’s not big by any means since I needed most of the space up here for storage, but it does me just fine with a small open-plan kitchen and living room, which doubles up as my bedroom, and a decent sized private bathroom.
I throw my keys onto the kitchen counter and head through to the bathroom, stripping out of my clothes that smell like alcohol and fried food and hit the button to turn on the shower. Steam rises from the water, andI don’t waste a second to climb under the spray, a sigh parting my lips.
Standing for a few minutes, I let the water roll over me only to be assaulted with the memory of this morning, my skin tingling as I remember the way his eyes had rolled down me, almost like a physical touch. He’d sat proudly on the back of his painted mare, that dark cowboy hat of his casting deep shadows across his face.
I haven’t had many run-ins with Roman Knight, the oldest of three brothers, he’s the most elusive one. He seems almost untouchable, like he has a steel wall around him that no one can penetrate. If I hadn’t been so desperate to get out of there in fear of being arrested, I’d have sat and appreciated the beauty of the man.
His dark hair curled around his temples from beneath his hat and at the nape of his neck, and a thick groomed beard framed his mouth. A straight, strong nose and brows that sit low above eyes the color the fall leaves would be envious of. They reminded me of whiskey, a mix of browns and ambers, almost inhuman and haunting.
There was pride in the way he sat atop his horse, with his broad shoulders stretching out the plaid shirt that had been unbuttoned at the collar to show just a slight smattering of hair on his chest.
What was he doing out at the falls, anyway? I’ve never seen a single person out that far, and sure, it’s technicallyhisproperty, but what does he care if I’m swimming on a single part of it? I’m not harming anyone.
I’ll just be more careful. I’m a great swimmer, always have been, and there are plenty of spots to hide in should he decide to come out that way again. Ashley has nothing to worry about, I won’t get caught again.
Chapter 3
I chuckle to myself as I watch her lithe body cut through the water, moving rapidly over the surface until she comes to a stop in the middle of the pool, the falls at her back. It’s barely dawn, the sun only just rising enough to attempt to warm the ground, but I had a feeling she would be back.
I don’t make myself known this time, and I didn’t come on horseback. I’d grabbed an ATV and parked it just a bit into the trees and then walked the rest of the way, and I’m glad I did because she’s been watching, searching for me.
Leaning on the tree, I watch as she dips her head back to wet her dark hair and then she tilts even further until she’s simply floating in the middle of the crystal clear water. She didn’t come in the same wayshe did the morning before. Instead, she went further up to where the mountains meet the ranch and slipped in where the fence ends and steep rocky walls rise. Not a safe path to enter by any means, not just because of the sharp jagged edges but because, just across the road, the neighboring ranch begins. It’s much smaller in size, barely holding on, but it’swholives there that could have caused her some trouble.
I shouldn’t really care if it does, not when she is still trespassing despite already getting caught.
I tell myself I’m simply saving myself some paperwork and making sure she doesn’t get hurt on my property as I move closer to keep watching her. The wildlife in these parts is no joke, and any one of them could make a meal out of her should they find her out here. Of course, that’s theonlyreason for spying.
The water laps at her body as she floats on the surface, her bikini white today with little wildflowers on it. There’s a serenity about her, like nothing else exists to her right now but this, with her eyes closed and the morning light kissing her skin.
I watch her until she decides it’s time to head back.
Coming here was a needed distraction; I got on a call last night with our lawyer for him to double check that damn clause. It’s the least he can do, I pay him a hell of a lot of money to work for us, and if there’s a loophole to exploit, I’ll take it, no matter what the cost. I shouldn’t expect one, not when Silas has read the thing, line by line several times, but I’m hopeful. Not everything is airtight, and people make mistakes. We’re human after all, but I lost sleep over this last night, thelooming threat of losing this place enough to leave me restless and agitated. I don’t have time for any of this.
When she’s closer to the shore, she lifts to stand and starts walking, her pace leisurely until she reaches for the towel and wipes the water on her face away, only glancing around once to check for other people.
“Fuck,” I mutter, dropping my eyes to my boots when she reaches for the string on her bikini top and removes it. I shouldn’t look, Ireallyshouldn’t look, and yet my eyes lift, finding her immediately. She has her back to me and has now removed her underwear, leaving her completely nude in the middle of the woods. Her hair falls down her back, her spine slightly arched as it follows a line down to her ass. She’s slow to dry herself off, but I can’t help but trace every curve of her, from the dip at her waist to the flare of her hips and the round globes of her ass. Compelled by her, I move forward, just an inch...
My foot steps on a branch, and the snap is so damn loud, it echoes through the trees.
“Shit,” I hiss, hitting the ground so she doesn’t see me creeping on her, the wind rushing from my lungs. I stifle the groan of pain and hold as still as I can.
