Chase has been around for as long as I can remember, and after his father passed, my father allowed him to stay and work on the ranch. He’s as much a part of this place as I am.
And now he isdead.
Pulling the door to the truck bed open, I turn and bend to lift his body, placing him gently into it before I lock it back up and head around to the front.
“Where are you going?” Elena chases after me.
“I’m saying goodbye to my friend,” I rasp.
“Do you…” She trails off and steps back.
“Come with me.” I turn my eyes to her, opening the door to the passenger side before I let out a whistle, calling Judge over. I see the blood on his muzzle now, staining the whiter parts of his fur a deep color that almost looks black. He bounds and leaps into the truck, taking the spot on the bench between the passenger and driver seats.
Elena accepts my hand as I help her into the caband then close her door, rounding the hood to climb in behind the wheel, the engine rumbling to life a moment later.
There’s a heavy silence that fills the cab as I drive across the ranch, toward the northern edge where the ranch bleeds into a forest. The Carter Resting Ground is just beyond the tree line. The lights cut through the shadowy darkness, illuminating the many headstones jutting out from the ground. This particular spot gives a complete view of the ranch, set on top of a hill, it overlooks the many pastures, barns and the house and then beyond to the mountains.
I sit for a minute, staring at the headstones, finding my father’s immediately, the white marble a stark contrast against the older and weathered stones beside him. He’s buried with my mother, where he always wanted to be.
“What can I do?” Elena whispers when the silence becomes stifling.
I cut my eyes at her, taking in her beauty and then the marks that asshole left on her skin. The anger returns anew.
I am going to rip him apart.
“Nothing,” I turn back to the graveyard. “I’m going to dig a hole, okay? You wait in here; there are predators out here.”
She grasps my arm. “What about you?”
“Don’t worry about me.” I pull out of her graspand get out of the car, heading to the bed to get the shovel I keep in there with some other garden tools I always store inside the truck. My hand makes contact with the bottom of Chase’s boot as I reach for it, and I snap my arm back, dropping the shovel.
Placing my hands down, I let my head fall, hanging between my shoulders as the grief tries to take me down.
I didn’t cry when my father died.
I won’t cry now.
But fuck, is it heavy.
I can feel the emotion wanting out; it’s clogging up the back of my throat, but I grasp hold of it, I bind it and I turn it into rage. Anger I am friends with, anger I can handle.
My hand wraps back around the shovel, and it makes a hissing sound that’s loud in the quiet night as I drag it across the bed and then head toward the trees to pick him a spot.
The head hits the dirt, and thanks to the rain we had, the ground is softer than what it should be, making it a little easier to dig the hole. Behind me, I hear the door close and a branch snap as Elena walks over. She doesn’t offer help, but stands silently beside me, offering me a simple kind of comfort.
When the grave is dug, I make my way to get Chase, carrying him to the hole that’ll keep hisbody forever.
I get him into it as gently as I can before I stand, staring down on his body and lift my hat from my head, pressing it to my chest. I have no words to speak; I’ve never claimed to be wise or to have the right words, so it’s best I don’t say anything at all.
For a minute we stand in silence, and then I reach for the shovel again.
“Wait!” Elena calls out.
I pause, watching her as she jogs over to a small patch of wildflowers that’s growing along the tree line. She picks the brightest of them, creating a small bouquet, which she carries back before she gets to her knees and bends over the hole in the ground to rest the flowers on Chase’s chest.
“Che la terra ti sia lieve,”She speaks quietly, almost a whisper, but the words roll over me, prickling the skin on my arms.
“What did you say?”
