“You sure you haven’t done this before?” I adjust Lily so she can watch, too.
He chuckles, “Willow showed me when we set it up. I made sure to listen.”
“Any more news on her mother?” Last I heard, she was still MIA.
Dean stills with the bottle. “No.”
“Are you still looking?” I query.
“I have people keeping an eye out, but she is no longer my priority or concern.”
“That’s fair,” I nod to the bottle, “That ready?”
He grunts in response and follows me through to the living room, where I position some cushions against the arm of the couch. “Sit there.” I order making it so his bad arm is positioned against the arm of the couch. When he’s sitting, I balance Lily in the crook of one arm and place a cushion on his thighs, creating a little bed on his lap which will allow Lily to remain in the right position while giving her the support she needs.
“Is that comfortable?” I ask. He nods silently, so I don’t say anything else and help get his daughter settled on him, making sure her head remains supported against the cushion, and then step back to allow him to feed her in peace.
I watch for a couple of minutes to make sure they’re comfortable and then leave for the kitchen, where I dig around for the takeout menus I saw in here earlier, picking out a pizza place just around the corner. I place the order online, selecting a few options since I don’t know what Dean would like, and then go back in to check on them.
“You’re still staying?” Dean lifts his dark eyes to me, but they pause on the wet spots on my clothes. “You’re soaked.”
“It’s fine, and yes, we made a deal.”
“I’ll get you something to wear when we take Lily up,” He turns his focus back to his daughter.
“Really, I’m fine,” I pick at the fabric to remove it from my skin where it’s stuck.
“And what?” He flicks his eyes to me, “You were going to sleep in jeans?”
My arms cross across my chest, and I cock my head, “Naked, actually.”
Where the fuck did that come from!?
I hadn’t actually thought that far ahead.
A strangled noise leaves him before he covers it with a cough that makes Lily jump.
“Fuck!” He growls.
“Sorry, I–”
“Can you take her?” He rolls his neck from side to side, “I need a minute.”
“Oh,” I rush over and lift Lily up, resuming her feed while Dean gets up and walks to the window, his hand rubbing at the nape of his neck as he looks out into the dark. He doesn’t say anything, and I think I may have pushed it too far. In my defense, that is not what I meant to sayat all.He makes me lose all my senses. All the damn time.
I want to push his buttons and stay away, all in the same breath. Flirt with him and fight with him, because when I’m here, I don’t feel so damn alone. I don’t feel like the lost girl, running from a past that could catch up with her at any minute. He makes me forget.
I feel like myself.
Lily finishes her bottle, so I place it down and finish the routine, “She’s ready for bed now.” I whisper as if afraid speaking too loud will disturb whatever peace he’s trying to find.
I’m starting to realize Dean has his own kind of language, going back to primitive times when grunts and growls were the only way to communicate. He grumbles with his back to me, so I take that as a cue to go up myself. Lily’s eyes are droopy, and while she is a little snotty, her fever has remained gone. Could be a cold, or she’s teething, but since her temperature is back to normal, I’m not worried. Using the toe of my shoe to kick open her door, I enter her room, my nose scrunching like it always does at the darkness of the bedroom.
This really needs to be decorated better for her; it’s so dark and broody.
“Really that bad?” Dean’s voice is low behind me, and I startle, not having heard him follow. For his size and presence, that should be impossible. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Make a noise next time,” I huff, and gently lay Lily down on her changing mat to change her diaper and get her swaddled for the night.
