His eyes close as pain flashes across his face and inside my own chest, something cracks but I don’t stop.No, the anger is too fierce, too powerful. Ihurt.Hehurtme.
“You’re fucking right, Killian,” I grab my clothes, and shove passed him into the bathroom, grabbing the door, “You’re not worth remembering.”
Chapter Forty-seven
Ihave my head in my hands when she storms out of the bathroom, fully dressed back in her clothes she turned up in last night.
“Savannah!” I call her name, chasing after her as she tries to make her escape.
A sob sounds from her, but she doesn’t pause or falter. She keeps going until she gets to the front door and yanks on it, except it doesn’t open. The keys are on the hook in the kitchen.
“Let me go!” She screams, pulling on the door, her back still to me.
Her pain is a physical being staining the airaround us.
“Savannah, wait,” I beg, reaching for her but she swings around so suddenly I don’t see it coming and her hand makes contact with my cheek. Pain flares for a quick burst before settling into a burn that sears me from beneath the surface.
Shock stalls her tears, “Wait, I’m sorry!” She rushes to cup my cheek, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”
Her palm soothes the sting, and I lift my own to cover her hand, keeping the contact.
She feels like home, with her soft touch and her gentle eyes. Waking up with her this morning was the purest kind of ecstasy, having her wrapped around me like nothing had changed. Her touch calms the demons and quietens the noise.
Ineedher.
But how do I fix all the shit I have broken?
Will she still love me when I tell her the truth? She doesn’t remember it all, doesn’t remember that she gave me her heart, will she fall in love with me again when she realizes I put a match to the house we built and now we’re both standing in the embers and the ashes of it.
I cannot survive without her.
Fat tears roll over her pinkened cheeks, bloodshot eyes full of confusion and hurt and anger.
Stepping closer, I raise my hands to her cheeks, brushing away more tears as I bend and run the tip ofmy nose down the length of hers.
She shivers under the touch, another tear slipping out the corner of her eye. My lips press to it, the saltiness of her sorrow adding another scar to my littered body.
“Killian,” She whispers, her voice trembling.
I kiss the corner of her mouth.
Her fingers curl against my bare chest, nails scoring my skin.
She softens in my hands, and I test with the faintest brush of my lips against hers. Her lips part for me as a sigh works from her so I press a little harder, angling her head so I can slant my mouth over hers. My fingers thread into her hair, the strands like silk on my fingers and when I run my tongue along the seam of her lips, she opens for me.
I sweep my tongue inside, the taste of her like a drug I cannot get enough of.
The kiss stops my world from spinning, it pauses it all. There’s no past, no future, only this right here. Only her. Nothing else matters.
I have been denying it for so long, not wanting to let anyone down, not wanting to betray my friend or his trust but with it, I denied her. I denied myself.
I give and Ifucking give, but I never let myself take.
When is it my turn to find fucking happiness? When is it my turn to have something I want!?
I have everything in my hands right now, I have herright here, even when I almost lost her, I have her right here and I’m supposed to just let her go?
I’ve tried that. And I can’t.
