“Killian,” I sigh, “We can’t stay a secret forever.”
He stands so suddenly; I have to take a step back to save from being knocked over. “It’s not the right time.”
“Why?” I snap at his back, “You really think Bast wouldn’t be happy for us?”
“He wouldn’t!” Killian growls, “He wouldn’t be happy for us, Savannah. I am ten years older than you, I have known you since you were a kid, this is wrong in his eyes. I shouldn’t even be looking at you the way I do.”
“But I am not a kid anymore, Killian,” I square my shoulders against him, “It’s not like you had this feeling when I was a minor. We’re both adults now!”
“That’s not the point,” He paces the length of the room, “We both know that.”
This isn’t a fight I’m going to win. It doesn’t matter that I love him. It doesn’t matter that he’s become my whole entire world, his relationship with my brother and his friends is more important and I certainly don’t want to be the girl that comes between them.
“Okay,” I reply weakly. It hurts. It really fucking hurts to know I’m second. I want more for myself, I want the undying love my brother has for Willow and Malakai has with Olivia. I want to show it off, scream it to the sky so everyone knows I am happy. I’m not going to get that with Killian, but I can’t let him go either.
Love doesn’t work that way. It’s like this feeling has claws, it sinks into you, grips you and locks you in and even when you know it isn’t healthy and it isn’tserving, it doesn’t let you go. I love Killian and the thought of not having him breaks my heart in two, cracks my soul and fractures me through to the bone.
Killian lets out a defeated breath, “I’m sorry, baby.”
“Don’t do that,” I swipe at the tear rolling down my cheek.
“Savannah,” He reaches for me as I step away.
“It’s fine,” I lie. “Don’t worry about it.”
He drops my eyes, and I know I’m not going to win here. I’m not sure I’ll ever win. I want this love, I want this feeling but if it’s one sided, how am I meant to survive?
The dress clings to my body like a second skin, flowing over my curves and following the lines of my hips and thighs until it flares out at my knees and the split sits just below my hip bone. I had to get creative with my body tape to make it stay and keep my underwear line hidden. Six-inch heels are strapped to my feet, and I’ve slicked my blonde hair back in a wet styled look.
Killian left a few hours before we were due to all meet at the club and as far as I can tell, he isn’t here yet.
Sloane links her arm with mine, looking as gorgeous as ever with her ashy brown hair pulled up into a high ponytail and dressed in a tight pair of leather pants with a lace body suit tucked in and a smoky eye goingon to compliment the blue of her eyes. Sloane has always been one to miss her own beauty, but the girl is a stunner.
“You okay?” She asks me.
I sigh, “I’m fine.”
“You can tell me, you know?”
“I know.”
“Is it Killian again?” She asks.
“It’s nothing, really.”
She huffs, showing her disappointment in my lack of information but I can’t do it to him. I can’t let go of our secret even if I know it would be safe with her.
“It’ll be fine, promise” I give her my best attempt at an excited grin, “I just want to have fun, dance and drink.”
Sloane purses her lips and narrows her eyes, “Mmhmm,” She challenges, “But fine, I’ll play your game just remember my freezer is full of ice cream and my security system uncompromised by prying eyes whenever you’re ready to vent.”
I’d laugh if she wasn’t hitting the nail on the head. “Mint choc chip?”
“Only for you,” She kisses my cheek as we finally make it to the steps leading to the roped off VIP section of the club. We’re let through the moment the bouncer recognizes me, and I slide into the booth with Malakai, Olivia, Bast and Willow, Sloane followingbehind me.
I greet the girls first, kissing my sister-in-law on the cheek before I move to Oli who is cradling her growing baby bump while nursing what looks to be an orange juice out of a wine glass. We fall into an easy conversation, the music making it hard to talk clearly without screaming across the table at each other, and I’m so focused on trying to hear what Willow is telling me about her daughter, that I don’t notice Killian and Dean slip into the booth until I feel the warm press of a thigh against mine.
I swing my gaze to him, words dying on my tongue at the sight of him.
