“I said I’d pay.”
She scoffs and walks off for a shower, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I’ve never experienced heartache before, never knew what it was like to love and lose and they say it’s better to experience love than to never experience it at all, but I don’t believe that. I didn’t have this pain before I fell in love.
Love has broken my heart and spread cracks through my soul. If love is supposed to hurt like this then I don’t want it.
The food arrives before Zara is done so I plate up our food, a somewhat of a nostalgic feel overcoming me as I take out the plates. My grandmother used the same ones for the entirety of my life and a wave of grief comes over me every time I see them.
When she comes back, we eat and discuss lighter topics, like what I’m going to do now – I don’t know – and if I’ll redecorate this place – absolutely not. It makes the heartache ease a little but when it comes time to go to bed, it rushes back in.
I lay in the huge king size bed, the emptiness of it making me feel cold and I read through all the messages from River. It’s an odd feeling, like he’s here with me but I’ve never been so alone.
So, I cry myself into a restless sleep, like I have done for days.
Chapter Forty-six
I should probably be ashamed by the number of texts I have sent and should definitely cringe since every single one has gone unanswered.
But I can’t and won’t stop. Not until she tells me to, not until she screams that it’s over.
It’s not over until she says the words.
Until then I will keep going.
I have a lot to prove, a lot to beg her forgiveness for and right now, text is the only way to keep this communication open. I don’t know where she lives now, she hasn’t been back to her father’s house which has now been cordoned off for an investigation. Zara knows but she won’t tell me.
She took down her entire family. She did that on her own. For us. For me.
Even after I broke her.
If I wasn’t already in love with her that might have tipped me over the edge. She showed so much strength, so much grace, it made me proud.
But it’s been days and I’m starting to panic that she’ll never let me back in or even give me another chance. I had been hopeful, thought maybe with time but the lack of response is telling me she’s over me and what we had is never going to come back.
Gravel crunching beneath tires draws my attention to a black SUV pulling into the lot of the garage, followed by a small Mini Cooper. The sun is glaring down on both windscreens, making it hard to see who’s inside but it’s likely just a husband-and-wife duo hoping to leave one of their cars here for repair.
Wiping my hands on a rag, I stand from the stool I was using and walk toward them.
The SUV door opens first and a man in a suit steps out, straightening the lapels of his jacket even though it’s eighty degrees out and he waits by the hood, watching the Mini.
“Can I help you?” I call to him.
He holds up a finger, “Just a minute.”
My brows draw low and after a beat the door opens, and my breath gets stuck in my throat.
She looks even more beautiful than when I last saw her. The bruising on her face is still there but slowly fading and the reminder of what she went through only makes me want to rip her family to shreds. She’s in a tight pair of denim shorts and flowy top, showing off tan lines and she has her hair up in a half style, the pony at the back of her head secured by a white ribbon.
“Hello, River,” She breathes.
“Princess,” I choke before the guy steps up to her, standing entirely too close. I make a move, but a hand slaps against my chest, stopping me. Marly’s pink painted nails curl into my chest.
“No.” Is all she says.
“Who are you?” I snap at him.
The guy doesn’t seem fazed, “Damien, pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sinclair.”
