“Take care, Miss. Stanton,” He says kindly, “Mr. Levine.”
“I’ll see you out,” Sebastian stands, showing the doctor to the door as I pull out my phone and read the email.
And as the silence settles in the room, this becomes just a little bit more real.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Sebastian said we would talk but we haven’t. It’s been two weeks since we found out about the baby, two weeks of him being attentive and caring and present but discussion on what happens now, or how we navigate this, have been non-existent and I still don’t know how he feels.
I think he’s happy about it but then there’s times I find him staring at my abdomen, a look on his face I can’t decipher and when I ask, he makes an excuse to avoid the conversation.
It’s exhausting.
Between this damn morning sickness which, by theway, doesn’t just happen in the morning and the hormones setting me off every second, I can’t mentally take on whatever this is.
His fingers flex around my hand as he takes sure, confident steps toward the clinic for our ultrasound. He’s dressed impeccably in a three-piece navy suit, his blond hair styled pristinely but I haven’t had the energy to do much of anything for myself. I found it a feat in itself when I pulled out the leggings and oversized sweater this morning since I’ve been living in sweats and old band tees these last two weeks.
I don’t know why but I’ve wanted to hide, to stay safe in my apartment while the world continued beyond the window. I wanted to stew and figure this out.
It hasn’t happened yet, but I keep telling myself I just need a few more days.
Sebastian checks me in and then crosses the waiting room, folding his big body down into the chair beside me. The few other women in the room side eye him, some in appreciation, others in reproach. I glare right back because they don’t get to judge us.
Silently, Bast reaches for my hand and once my fingers are entwined with his, he rests both our hands atop my thigh, waiting. I open my mouth to speak but then close it again. I can’t help but feel the distance between us, no matter how much he touches me, kisses me. We haven’t had sex since he found me on the bathroom floor with the pregnancy test and a girl can only be brushed off so many times before she stops trying.
While I hadn’t thought much about becoming a mother, I never thought there would be a possibility of doing it alone. And that’s how he is making it feel. I’m walking on eggshells around him, and I have no fucking idea what to do.
We wait quietly for five minutes before we are called back to one of the rooms. I listen to the tech while Sebastian stands at the back of the room, the furthest he can be as I climb onto the bed and raise my sweater, tugging down the band of my pants a little to give them unobstructed access to my abdomen.
“This’ll feel a little cold,” The kind woman smiles gently before she applies some gel to my skin and then lifts the wand, turning the screen so I can see.
She places the head of the wand to my stomach and begins to guide it around, smearing that gel as she watches the screen and she pauses and leans in closer, a tender smile pulling on her mouth.
“Here we are,” she says to the two of us, pointing to something on the screen. I stare at it intently and then I make out the small little bean shape on the screen. She clicks a few things and then uses her finger to trace the outline, “Baby is right here.”
“Oh,” Is all I manage to stutter out.
Vaguely I feel Bast’s presence move closer, but I can’t stop staring.
“Nice strong heartbeat,” The tech explains and hits a few keys on the keyboard ahead of her.
“That’s a baby,” Sebastian whispers.
“I’ll go get Doctor Yang, she can advise next steps for you.”
The tech leaves us with the image on the screen, the small little bean the focus of our attention.
“Bast?” I whisper, too afraid to raise my voice any louder than that.
“That’s ours, Wills,” He steps close, his finger rising to the screen to trace the outline of the baby. If I didn’t know what I was looking at, I never would have guessed it.
“Yeah,” I choke out.
“We’re having a baby.” He says.
“We are,” I agree.
He suddenly turns to me, and I swear his eyes are glazed, the green appearing brighter in the lighting of the room. He opens his mouth to speak but the door suddenly opens, and Doctor Yang enters, her smile bright. She’s young with dark eyes and hair but she holds herself with confidence while also being bright. It instantly puts me at ease where I still lay on the bed.
