“Fine.” I answer, turning around to stare at the wall of windows, waiting for those meds to kick in if only to drag me into oblivion for a few hours. I’ll take anything if only to avoid this conversation. I love Willow. I appreciate her and need her, but I can’t talk about this. Especially when she is still seeing Sebastian and she’s on the fence between me and Malakai. She says she’s on my side but the ‘just give him another chance to explain’tells me she’s more on his side than mine.
That man doesn’t deserve another chance.
And I know I’m stuck in this marriage now. He won’t allow a divorce and has enough power to stop me from getting one in any form. He controls all.
Prick.
“Have you taken your meds already?” She asks and I nod, laying down on the couch, ready for it to hit.
“You’re about to pass out on me, aren’t you?” She huffs, stepping in front of me with her hands on her hips. She looks pretty today, in her tight leather pants and red knitted rollneck sweater, her red hair bundledon top of her head.
“I am,” I agree. And I can’t fucking wait.
I miss him despite my better judgement. Miss his chuckles and his kisses, miss the way he holds me at night and cares for me. I just miss him. And it hurts so fucking bad, like I left my heart with him.
But he crushed it.
A single tear slips from the corner of my eyes as the pills finally take hold, dragging me swiftly into sleep.
When I finally wake it’s dark beyond the window, the city around me alive with lights. It’s nothing like the estate, with its fathomless dark and endless starry skies. You can’t see the stars here or hear the wind in the trees or smell the earth. It’s just smog and city traffic.
I can hear Willow somewhere in the house, speaking softly and figure she’s just on the phone until I hear a very male voice reply.
“He’s going fucking mad, Wils.” Sebastian says, “He needs to see her, just so he knows she’s okay.”
Slowly, I sit up on the couch. I can feel my hair standing up, stuck in the same position I fell asleep in. Those pills really do make me dead to the world, I don’t even move when I sleep.
“She’s not ready.” Willow replies.
“Have you tried talking to her?” He asks.
I rub my hands over my face, running my fingers over my eyes to remove the sleep, “I’m awake.” I grumbleloud enough for them to hear.
“Olivia!” Sebastian comes barreling over, full of restless energy.
“Hello, Bast,” I give him a small smile, as much as I can muster.
“It’s good to see you,” He sits on the coffee table, his face full of compassion and I know he isn’t just saying it to be kind. “You’re looking better. How do you feel?”
“I’m not seeing him,” I get right to the point. “I can’t.”
“That bet…” He winces.
“Don’t Sebastian,” I warn, “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Olivia,” his shoulders sag, “He needs you.”
“Yeah, well,” I snap, grabbing my crutches, “He should have thought about that before he tossed it all on the ground and set fire to it.”
“He didn’t,” Sebastian argues, “He never meant for any of it to happen.”
“But it did happen, Sebastian.” I hobble to the kitchen though I’ve no idea why. I guess just to escape the conversation. “He didn’t choose me, Sebastian. We all know this was never going to work anyway, so why don’t we all move on from it.”
“He won’t move on, Olivia. Ever.”
“Then it’ll be a lonely life for him.”
“He killed them all.” Sebastian lowers his voice, but I know Willow is listening. She knows anyway but I haven’t had the confidence to ask her how she feelsabout it. She hasn’t brought it up so neither have I.
