“Uh, Ness?” Maya calls back for me, “Don’t you remember we planned dinner for tonight?”
God, what the hell is wrong with me?
“Oh right, yeah,” I shake my head.
“Right, you’ve got me worried,” Arryn says, linking her arm with mine, “What is wrong?”
“Honestly,” I answer, “I don’t know. I feel all kinds of messed up today.”
“Well, when did it start?” Maya takes her daughter’s hand and then links her free arm with mine.
“This morning,” I say, chewing my lip as my breath comes out in white puffs in front of my face. “Really I don’t know why I’m feeling all anxious, because there isnothingwrong.”
“Maybe that’s it,” Arryn suggests.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I guess the past two years haven’t been easy and I bet you’ve always worried about what would happen if Kolt did show back up.”
“Well of course,” I agree.
“I bet in your mind it didn’t all turn out great like this,” She quirks a brow.
“No, I guess not, I expected arguments to be honest.”
“I don’t know Kolt well,” Maya joins, “But I know he isn’t the type to hold a grudge and I know he doesn’t blame you for Ethan or keeping it a secret.”
“I know that,” I stare ahead. I can see the water from here and the red color of Torin’s truck standing out in stark contrast to the white and green of the forests bordering the town. “I just feel like something is going to happen.”
“Like what?”
“Like he’ll get bored and leave.” I whisper the confession. “When he came back, I promised myself I wouldn’t let him back in, the first few times we had to separate hurt enough but now Ethan is involved… I just didn’t want to get my heart broken again.”
“I think that’s valid,” Arryn squeezes my arm.
“But he got in anyway. And it was so easy too.”
“Those Avery brothers just have their way,” Maya shrugs, “They get what they want.”
Arryn grunts her agreement and scoffs a laugh.
“I was kidding myself if I ever thought I couldn’t let that man back in,” I shake my head at myself, “I fell in love with him so quickly when we first met that I should have known it wouldn’t have taken much.”
“Do you still love him?” Arryn asks quietly.
“With every ounce of my being,” I admit, “And that terrifies me.”
“I think it’s normal,” Maya says, “You have Ethan to consider too but you’ll see,” she speaks with so much confidence, “Those men are here to stay. And I’ve seen the way Kolt is with you, he loves you just as much.”
I nod but still that anxiety lays like lead in my stomach.
We make it back to the house quickly, finding the brothers lounging in the living room with a fire roaring to chase away the chill. Harper immediately goes for Ethan who sits, legs spread on the floor, an open book on one side and building blocks on theother and starts to play with him, and I find Kolt on the couch behind me.
He smiles at me when he spots me, his expression softening, and gestures with his eyes for me to come join him in the spot at his side. Removing my coat and shoes at the door, I take my place next to him, his arm immediately coming around me to pull me closer. He carries on his conversation with his brothers but absentmindedly strokes my arm, his fingers brushing on my skin so tenderly it makes my heart melt.
It’s all nerves, I tell myself. Like Arryn said, it’s valid since I’ve been so used to one thing and now everything is different. But Kolt notices that I’m not one hundred percent present and turns to me, “You okay, trouble?”
How many times in one day can you be asked the same question?
