A laugh bursts from her, “It was certainlysomething.”
We keep walking, talking and by the time I realize where we are, we’ve stopped at the end of the dock where we used to sit all those years ago. Where it all started.
“This place never changes,” She admires the view.
“I’m glad it doesn’t,” I add, “It keeps my memories fresh.”
She nods in agreement, “I haven’t been on this dock once since I’ve been back, except the other day when I found you.”
For a few seconds, silence eats up the space between us, the only noise to fill it is the sounds of the waves, but I can’t keep myself in this loop any longer.
I can’t pretend it would be okay to live without her.
“I can’t let you go, trouble,” I tell her, “I can’t be here, where you are, and not want to drown in you.”
“I’m finding I’m not very good at it either,” She glances at me, her eyes flicking away quickly.
“Let me show you,” I beg, “Let me show you how much I love you.”
Chapter Thirty-two
My blood rushes in my ears and my cheeks burn, a mix of the cold and anticipation warming me through, “Okay.” I whisper.
I don’t want to be strong with him anymore. This week has been hell, having him under my roof, so close and yet not allowing myself to get near. I can’t help but be scared of it, of feeling the kind of pain I went through back then. But I’m annoying myself with the same mantra, I can give myself to him, satisfy that craving I have for him, and protect my heart.
I’m notthatgirl anymore.
It seems to take Kolt a moment to realize what I’ve said but when he does, he closes the gap between us, his thick arms snaking around me. His eyes are filled with an expression I can’t completely place, his smile wide and unguarded.
Despite the layers I have on me, Ifeelhim. I feel the connection of him like a brand on my skin, burning me, permanently etched into me. I tip my face up to keep looking, but then his mouth crashes on mine and fuck… It feels like home.
My memories have not given this man justice, not when this is better than I could ever remember. He tastes divine, feels like heaven. I’m on my tiptoes, kissing him in the spot where I fell in love with him.
His stubble scratches at my skin and his tongue swipes through my mouth with a fervor that I match. I let my hands thread into his hair, tugging at it until it becomes loose from the bun, and it just forces him into deepening our connection.
“I missed you so fucking much, trouble,” He groans.
“Keep kissing me,” I beg.
“Let me take you home,” He asks, capturing my bottom lip in his teeth which shoots heat straight through me. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that. Felt the rush to be with a man, felt need and want. It’s been hard, and I’ve not been with anyone else.
“Ethan,” I groan, remembering where we are.
“Shit,” He curses, as if too, he’d forgotten.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, “let’s just go get him and go home.”
We don’t end up going home at all.
Instead, we’re all sat around a big dining table while Torin serves dinner. Harper plays with Ethan at one end of the table while Rett whispers something into Arryn’s ear that makes her blush, and Kolt sits at my side. His hand is on my knee which bounces with nerves. I guess I’m waiting for the shoe to drop. Waiting forthe questions and accusations on why I kept Ethan a secret from them, but they never come.
Kolt gives my leg a squeeze before he tops up my glass of water, and then grabs the bottle of red from the middle of the table to fill up my empty glass.
While Rett and Kolt haven’t spoken since their fight in the living room earlier, it didn’t feel hostile either, and while I didn’t know what had gone down between them, I guess whatever it was earlier has cleared the air some.
It’s nice being with everyone, even if it did feel like I was to be roasted at any minute, but perhaps that’s just my nerves talking, and not them in any way.
I expected them to be mad at me, even if it was just a little bit for keeping Ethan a secret from them. But I haven’t dealt with an ounce of judgement from them.
