“He’s two?”
I nod.
There’s a pregnant pause between us, I can see him working it out, figuring out the dates and when he realizes, the color drains from his face.
“He’s two.” He repeats.
“His name is Ethan,” I whisper, “Ethan Avery-Hale.”
“He’s my son?”
“Yes, Kolt, you’re Ethan’s father.”
Chapter Twenty-four
Ihave a son.
I have a son.
“I’m so sorry,” Vanessa whispers, a crack in her voice and eyes filled with tears, seeming to make the gold hues in her eyes pop.
“He’s two,” I repeat like a broken record, “There’s been so much time. I’ve lost so much time.” I can’t process a single thought, can’t fully come to terms with the news. I can just think about how much time has passed, how many minutes I’ve lost.
“I have videos and pictures,” She tells me urgently, “I documented everything.”
“He was right there last night,” I cannot grasp it fully, it’s a fleeting thought, flinging around inside my head. There’s too much to think about, too much to talk about. She did it all alone, her pregnancy, the birth, raising him for the past couple years.
“He’s with my sister right now,” She explains. “I tried to tell you.”
I snap my head back to her face, hearing how thick it’s become with emotion. Tears roll down her cheeks, rosy from the cold, the tip of her nose red.
“After… I was late on my period, and I took a test, it came back positive. I went to the clinic to get it confirmed and I tried to call then. It never went through. I called every day for six months. I text every day. I never got a reply.”
I swallow down the bile that rises in my throat.
“Then I went into labor, and I called then. I called when he was born. I sent you a photo from the hospital.”
There’s so much pain in her voice, but it’s edged in venom too, anger, “I called, and I called, and you weren’t there, Kolten. I called and you didn’t come.”
“Ness.”
“No,” She steps back from me. “I haven’t come to rekindle whatever it was we had; I came to tell you you’re a father. No one knows, except Ruthie. Your brothers don’t know.”
“Why didn’t you tell them?” I ask.
“Because I was scared, Kolten. And I was fucking angry.”
There’s no sunshine girl left here. I couldn’t see a single ray of the girl I used to know. She’s still as pretty as ever, but she looks tired, worn down. Like a weight is on her shoulders and she’s struggling to bear it.
“I gave you something special and you left me. You blocked my number or whatever it is you did. I had your baby, and I was alone. I left college and came back here because I was alone. Mysister and Ruthie are the only ones who have helped me. How was I to go to your brothers and tell them you knocked me up?”
She steps further back from me, swatting at her tears, pushing down her emotions and I had nothing to say.
“You can meet him,” Her voice turns flat, even if tears continue to fall, “I will keep it a secret for now, until you’re ready to let people know.” She sounds as if she is reading from a script or a contract, it’s monotone and emotionless, “Or if you’d rather pretend you don’t know, that’s fine. I don’t expect you to be a dad to him. You can forget we even exist if you’d like.”
“I don’t want that,” I whisper.
She nods, “Come over at four. It’s before dinner and bath time. He’s in a routine and I don’t want to break that.”
